s|ghx... as usual im feelin moody againz... for almost 2 months liaoz im behavin this way... i did try to make myself happy but seems like doesnt work thou... depression is really scary... sigh next week onwards most of my frds who haf sch will start sch liaoz... and me? lols still in the farkin waitin list lor... wait wait wait... waitin is painful... esp when u know the result... sad...

today watch the last episode of Joe Millionaire, saw the happy ending of David & Linda... makes me feel sad... & envy of coz... i alwayz envy couples wif happy endings... who can be together from the start till the end till death... i told my mum & sis while watchin Joe Millionaire... i said loudly that even w/o man in this world i can still survive... my mum looks at me wif a hmz... "sad" look... i feel like cryin when i saw her wif that look... i dunno... maybe she feel sad too... i dunno... since yesterday i feel like crying already... but im tryin to stop myself from doing so... coz i haven found a gd reason to cry for... so i decided not to cry... maybe for now...

s|ghx i alwayz feel this world is cruel & unfair to me... it alwayz gimme something gd in the beginning & will take it back when im feeling happy & xin fu... sometimes i wonder why do we haf to live in this world when we all know lor our future will be death... i rather im not being born into this world lor... i feel so... depressed... feeling so bad inside... i feel like finding someone to tok to... but i dunno who to look for... and even i did... i dunno what to tok to either...

how i wish my rabbits are wif me... sometimes i see my male terrapin i felt sad... coz it reminds me of... s|ghx... well i know i should get over this & carry on wif a new better life... but somehow another voice inside me told me that she haf given up... sounds scary? lols... im juz a ordinary singapore chinese gal juz like most gals out there... but why i haf to suffer more than the others? i wonder why... is the world is nv fair???... maybe thats juz what life is about... damn i feel like smoking... k lahz i thinkz i stop here i oso lost of words liaoz... sighx...