Hey bloggy, so sorry i haven't been blogging for so long... My damn boardband got terminated coz i forgot to pay up the bills lols. mizz me? i mizz u thou ;P

Yesterday, I went to Esplanade wif ZQ, Marvin & Adeline. I meet them at Raffless City's Food Junction ard 7.40pm. Ard 8+ we left the Food Junction & head for the fireworks, but when we get out of the mall, we saw lotsa ppl heading to our directions & ZQ go ask a security/police at the roadside about the fireworks, & the man said its already over!! haha... Too bad we got the time wrong & we missed the fireworks. Den we decided to loiter ard & walk to Esplande to see the big durian. When we reached B1 of Esplanade, Adeline & Marvin are seperated, we haf no idea where the 2 went to... lost? maybe... but while we're on the escalators, ZQ tell me about his ex... how they started... Me & ZQ walk to the outside of the durian & sit near the river waiting for the 2 to find us... After 10 mins or so, they finally show up... lols...

After that we think where we heading next... But end up no answer... So we walk ard the area... Ard 9+, we decided to go Loyang... So we walk to the main road trying to hail a cab... We managed to caught a taxi-driver's attention & he stop at the opposite side of the road waitin for us to cross over, but who knows?! a bloody woman juz come out from nowhere & get into the taxi & the taxi juz drive off!! Wtf sia... Sigh den we walk further down the road near the Oriental lor... Finally the 2 guys managed to hail a cab... & there we go~ haha...

Ard 10.20pm, We reached Loyang's ktv lor(we actually decided to go ktv in the end haa...)... I hor... alwayz feel cold easily whenever there air-con lor... Den i tell ZQ im cold ma... Den he like grab my hands trying to warm my hands lor... i was kindda shocked haha... Den me & Adeline go 7-11 buy things, she said we 2 behave machiam like couple... haha... Den 12.45am, last song... Den after that we walk out of the ktv heading to the Pasir Ris beach lor...

By den, its already 1+ & happened to be the Chinese's Hungry Ghost Festival lor... So we 4 juz tok tok tok on our way to the beach lor... But i keep remain quiet lor... Coz i was like er... feeling kindda... down? dunno la... mood swing lor... haha...

After a way long walk... we reached Escape there lor... we went to the toilet den we head on to the beach lor... We walk & walk... We walked into the park lor... Den Adeline & ZQ are walking in-front of me & Marvin... wif Adeline's arm hook to ZQ's... I was feeling... nvm... I juz keep quiet & walk... & we walked the wrong way & reached the dead end of the park... We rested for awhile & walked back to where we came... All these while, Adeline & ZQ act like couple... holding each other's hands lor & like haf many secrets to share lor... so i juz fark care i juz walk & walk & walk... & Marvin was toking to me about Rock Bands... but i wasn't really in a mood to tok to him haha... *Sorry MarviN!!*

The more I walk... the more my temper get worse lor... esp when i saw them like a couple lor... holding hands... Den we walk to Fisherman V. there wasnt any nice place to sit down so we walk back to another side of the park where the lightnings are brighter lor... Den we reached there... Adeline & ZQ walk to one side of the statues or whatever it is & sit down & tok... Leaving me & Marvin lor... Machiam we 2 lightbulbs lor. By den my freaking bad bad temper is "activated" lols... den i juz walk away from them lor i walk down the stairs & walk ard w/o any place in mind juz walk & walk as long as i dun see Adeline & ZQ can liaoz... but Marvin keeps following me... i told him to go join them... he said "i dun wanna disturb them, they seems to need some time for themselves, they haf things to tok to each other. I dun wanna U alone in the park & i dun wanna be alone either". K FINE. i juz take it & i keep walking & walking... & i dulan i juz anyhow find a step of the stairs & sit down. I juz keep quiet wif my face farkin black. I told Marvin i wanna get out of the freaking humid park. So i juz stand up & walk to the "couple" & take back my hp from ZQ & i juz walk off w/o saying anything... Marvin tell them we going elsewhere... So we walk lor... Adeline knows that something wasnt rite here lor... So she comes to me... (all the while i was walking freaking fast infront of the grp lor) asking me... "are you ok jie? what's the matter? why are u so angry? Plz tell me whats wrong... Izzit becoz of... den u angry?"Well... my only reply to her is... "Juz farking leave me alone, juz ignore me, take that im having PMS rite now." Den she say "ur my sis lor, how can i juz leave u alone or ignore u lor... If theres anything u not happy juz say it out lor..." Actually she knows what is wrong wif me... (i did told her sth, but i dun wanna say here. ;) ) She told me something but I juz ignore her... Den ZQ's turn to ask me whats wrong... I guess HE oso guess out whats wrong lor... I juz simply tell him the same thing i told Adeline.

Den we walk further down, ZQ told me... He likes the feeling of touch... its like when someone's cold or whtever he would gif him some "warmth"... hmz... like juz normal frds lor... A hug when needed... WHATEVER. my heart sank already *haa*. =/ Den i told him, "u dun haf to explain anything to me." He said " i haf to lor..." Den i chup in... i said... "I wasnt misunderstanding lor, so u dun haf to explain anything to me." Den i put on my earphones & on my discman loud. He keeps quiet & juz walk behind me... I think i hurt him somehow... & Adeline too... sighx... Sometimes i really hate my character & my bad temper. I juz couldnt control my temper whenever i sees something i dun like. & i'll juz gone crazy if i din release the anger inside me out immediately... Thats what happened to me yest lor. I really gone crazy for hours. Oh lemme continue what happen...

Den we finally walk out of the bloody park... (I swear i wont wanna go there again.) & still i keep ignoring the 3... esp ZQ... honestly... Den we walk to the downtown East to rest abit... the 3 rest at the 6 benches there... & i juz dun wanna be wif them so i walk away... I sense someone was following behind me, & i turned round & saw ZQ... I told him to go join the 2... & he juz keep quiet & follow me ard... we went to the toilet & Cheers... & farking hell... both are closed. Damnit & we walk back to the bench & we 4 rest there lor... till ard 5... we wake ZQ up (coz he fall asleep)... Den we walk to the bus interchange lor... ZQ seems to be angry lor... I guess hes angry wif me... for what i did earlier on... Sighz... :(

We take Mrt from Pasir Ris... & i tot the 2 guys wanna go eat my daddy's porridge... Den when we reached Tampines station, ZQ suddenly stands up & walk to the door w/o sayin anything... no even a "bye". I was feeling sad... down... i msg him.. "Angry?" he replied his having a gastric & he dun get angry easily... But i doubt so...

Sighx... when i reached home i was worry abt him... i called him but he sounds so tired & was like... angry? i dunno... he didnt sound like the normal him lor... sighx... He said he would msg me back after his shower... but until now i haven receive anything from him... Sighx 4get it...

I can only blame myself for not able to control my temper & feelings. I give up.

My Brains keep recall this 3 songs... by David Tao...