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Baby, I'll NEVER LET YOU GO..

2008-04-24T01:57:00.000+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KaROckBbSRQ

Missing You..

2008-04-23T22:51:00.008+08:00

Baby although we're together only for merely 2 months, but I really wanna thanks you for everything you have done and taught me. I really cherish every seconds we spent together.

Baby, in case you don't know, you're so different from my past ex-es. You really made me feel like a lil' baby, a princess with all your tender loving care. Making me feel so high up at the top of the universe and yes, you made me fall to the deepest of the Hell too.

Baby, up till now I still couldn't accept the fact that you've walked out of my life thoroughly. It had happened way too suddenly! The night before, you gave me good bye kisses; sms-ed me good night message with a "muack" attached(even though I only saw it yesterday morning) but I really felt so happy! I would never ever thought that less than 12 hours later, you wanna break-up.

Baby, I've no idea till now, what caused our relationship to turn out this way or what actually are you thinking the past few days. I don't know what have I done wrong. Yes, I'm really very sorry for pissing you off that night and insisted on going yo your place after that.

Baby, I really don't understand by your "we're not suitable" and "no feelings", really. I believed there should be a reason to why you suddenly said "we're not suitable" and "no feelings". I don't know how to accept it. But I'm trying. I'm still trying to forget the tender loving care you gave me. Your smile, your expessions, your face, your snores, your scent, your hugs, your kisses and everything about you still lingers around me. How I wished I wake up and everything happened yesterday were just nightmares and you're still mine. I've put alot of hopes, efforts and plans to our relationship and one "no" from you and everything's gone forever.

Baby, I really wished that you'll be mine again. I miss you terribly every seconds and I still love you so much. I hope you'll give us a chance to get things right. I respect whatever decision you made even though my heart's broken cause I wanna you to be happy.

Baby, I really miss you! I love you! And I need you and want you! Please! Be mine again, my love! I love you! T_T

Fate

2006-10-18T21:28:00.000+08:00

Ard 2-3 years ago, I've a crush on a guy. Totally crazy over him. It's love at first sight. Sadly, no sparks. LOL. He knew I like him, Adeline told him my "secrets" too. Around almost a year later, he got a GF. Exactly, 1year 8months later, he and the GF broke off.

This year's August, my ex and I broke up after our 1year 8months relationship. Recently, I got to contact back and meet up with the crush of mine. ;p

And yeah.. We are together now.. Is this fate? After going 3years later of almost total no contact to now a couple..? Lol.. I never ever thought that we'll be together one day, especially after 2-3years without contacting each other! Haha..

I'm like living in my dreams every day! Never been so happy in my life before like I am right now! I'm feeling so proud.. Wanting to tell the whole world like last time I have a crush on my boy last time.. YES, HE'S MINE NOW! BUAHAHAHAHAHA.. *starts to fa hua ci again..*

Maybe, this is what people meant by, fate. What meant to be yours, will be yours eventually one day. ;D Hehe.. I'm so happy............. Omg.. And he's spoiling me, giving me surprise calls, sms-es, sending me home after work, lotsa TLC.. Omg.. Tell me I'm not dreaming please! ;D Lol..

To my one and only ZQ: I love you! (n_n*)

I Will Always Love You..

2006-10-08T19:16:00.001+08:00

Yes bloggy, in case you didn't know about it..

Yes. My SPH (Self-Proclaimed Hubby) and I officially sign for "divorce" on 13th August 2006. Marking the end of our 1year8months5days long underground "marriage".

Honestly speaking, till now my heart still bleeds every day, every hour, every minute, in fact is every second. And I purposely make myself tired, shag, "lifeless" by making myself very very busy at work. Especially on weekends, where I do not have to work anymore, I'll do unnecessary things. Burying myself into tonnes of crappy stuffs. Why am I doing so? Reason is simple.. Cause' I couldn't sleep almost every night.. Everyday. Without myself miserably tired, both physical and mentally, it is almost impossible to sleep. Sigh.

I'm falling apart soon. I miss terribly, those days, I'm treated and spoilt like a baby.. Getting pat/strokings on the head like a little kitten/kid.. Being hugged like a teddy bear.. Getting attention from one, like a little princess.. Sweet, passionate kisses that will give you butterflies in your stomach, makes you feel as if you're flying into the bright blue sky.. Yeah. I really missed those happy days.

It is so tired putting a mask every day, at work and at home, in front of everyone. Sigh. Well. There's nothing I want or wish anymore. He's gone. And that's the fact. I've already choose to let him go, that's my decision. But, why do my heart still hurt so badly? Why?

Sooner or later, I'm going to die of lung cancer! Have been smoking at least 2/3 of the pack of ciggies everyday. Smoking doesn't seems to be able to help me forget the pain in my chest, my heart. Maybe I should go for drugs, or liquor, or maybe, maybe the sadistic ways. Slashing the blade on my wrists, using needles to poke or "tattoo" somewhere on my body. I need more pain! More pain to let my forget the pain I have in my heart! ARGH! I'm going crazy!!!!!!!

Sigh. Anyway, I just got the contact number of my long ago "crush". Ya, ya, ya. It's ZQ. =P Got to chat with him on the phone once so far. ;) He too, broke up with his GF after being together for 1year8months! Haha.. Such a coincidence! ;P

We chat on MSN too, he told me he's a jerk. For everything, I've done for him and he knew I like him alot last time. EEk! I'm made speechless by his words! Total lost of words! Haha. But anyway, that's all past. =)

=)

2006-06-30T09:58:00.000+08:00

Reconcile with my BABY days ago. Apologised to him. It's my fault anyway. My fault to provoke him, to make a fuss out of nothing. I'm a petty person. lolx.

Miss him so much. But still have around 29hours more before I can see him! OMFG! T.W.E.N.T.Y N.I.N.E H.O.U.R.S! Can you imagine how frigging LONGGGGGGGGGG it is?!?! :'(

Sigh. I've been trying to reformat my stupid PC with my Windows XP Home Edition disc. But sadly, it didn't work. It only reformat those stuffs I have on my desktop and "start" list. Every crappy stuffs inside my C drive still intact. =/

Heard from my god-didi that Windows XP HE can't be used for reformatting of PCs. Blah! Maybe I should go get a pirated Windows XP Professional disc to reformat it then install the original copy of my Windows XP HE.. Sigh.. Sucks!

I finished work too fast today! I took 1.45hours to complete my work on hand. ;/ Now I have nothing to surf, nothing to see, nothing to do. Maybe I should sleep till noon. A friend suggested I should surf youtube. ;/ Hm.. I think I should find something to do.. eg, thinking my BABY.. thinking of my BABY.. thinking of my BABY.. and thinking of my BABY..!! *giggles* ;x

Sigh. People.. whoever read my blog/post.. tag @ my taggy leh! Imma gonna bore to death soon.. Jiu ming ar~~~~~~~~

Baby, 对不起!

2006-06-27T01:47:00.000+08:00

Went for HERMES training in office early morning from 10am to 5pm. Went to Novena for lunch with some colleagues at noon time. Order a plate of Thai style pineapple rice, didn't finish it. Not much appetite as usual. Sigh.

Honestly, during the almost 7 hours training, most of the time I'm either staring at blanks or the monitor; or I'm thinking of him. :'( I couldn't concentrate on the training. Of course, I didn't get to catch up with the others in some of the part of the course. Sigh. But I also can't be bothered liaoz la. Wasn't in mood at all. My brains and my heart had long ago flew to him.. :'(

When on my way home, I walked to the seat that we always meet up every weekend. It hurts me deeply when I recall the way he walk, the way he looks, walking towards me from the other side of the station to our "usual place".

I was "dreaming" away in the train, till suddenly I saw someone with similar hair style as him. I keep staring at that guy. He reminded me so much about him. Memories of him and me on the train journey.

Sigh. I really miss him badly. :'( Everywhere I go, every hour, every minute, every second. How many times I feel like calling him up just to listen to his voice. I will be very happy too even if I can only hear him say "hello?".

I really miss him so much. Staring at his photos break my heart even more. Sigh.. :"(

Without HIM:

~~HIM~~: I'm as well as fish, without water; unable to survive.
~~HIM~~: I'm as well as tree, without roots; unable to grow and live.
~~HIM~~: I'm as well as a chopstick, without the other; never able to be whole again.
~~HIM~~: I'm as well as a colour-blind person, unable to see colours; my world is all in black and white.
~~HIM~~: I'm as well as a clock, without ticker; my time and world are freezed forever.
~~HIM~~: I'm as well as moon, without sun; I'm unable to shine anymore, because you are my blazing sun.
~~HIM~~: I'm as well as 99, without 1; I'm incomplete, because the 1 is you.
~~HIM~~: I'm as well as blind person, unable to see; because in my eyes, I can only see you.
~~HIM~~: I'm as well as an instrument, unable to play out anymore notes; because you are the melody of my life.
~~HIM~~: I'm as well as deaf, unable to hear; because you are my ears.
~~HIM~~: I'm as well as a mute, unable to speak; because you are my vocal cords.
~~HIM~~: I'm as well as dead, without oxygen to breathe; because oxygen is you.

因为太爱你, 所以很害怕失去你
没有你的天气, 总是阴晴不定
爱的情绪也在欢笑中哭泣
Baby, 我想对你说声对不起
我想我用错了方式去爱你, 因为我太在意

如果没有了你, 我的世界只剩回忆

每天只能面对孤寂

我害怕再也来不及在说, 我爱你

自从那天你说"不如分手吧"后, 我无法停住泪滴下来

只要能再爱你, 什么我都愿意

I miss U!

2006-06-26T01:57:00.000+08:00

Sigh. With no place to go & don't know where I should go or can go to, I went straight home right after work yesterday afternoon.

At home. My mind was in a blank. Not knowing what should I do next. Sigh.

I wasn't feeling very well. Got a bad headache, body's aching and silly stomach's growling. I didn't eat much. No appetite at all. Frustrated with myself and with my gastric. I then, went to lie on my bed (should be mattress) with my usual tare-panda pose, thinking of taking a nap so I won't feel hungry again.

No idea where its from, I smell something familiar. An odor of sadness that is strong enough to stimulate the water in my body to flow out of my eyes as tears. I could smell the scent, the fragrance of his hair, him, on one of my pillows cover.

I buried my whole face into that pillow. In my upsurged emotion, a gush of tears flow out from my still-swollen eyes, wetting my pillow. Slowly I walked into my dreams. Dream that only have HE and ME. Noone else.

I don't know how long I've been in the dreams.. I opened my eyes. I couldn't see anything except pitch black of emptiness. Darkness is everywhere around me. I'm glad there's his scent to keep me accompanied. Sigh.

I miss him terribly. :'(

It's the END?

2006-06-25T06:48:00.000+08:00

Damn freaking tired, sleepy & sad today. A very complicated feeling mixing inside my heart right now.

Went KTV with my god-jie & friends yesterday night. Reached home around 1130+pm.

Msged my bf since 9pm. He replied back at 12+am. Bloody hell. His reason for replying late, watching TV, hp in room. Nice huh? Damn pissed. Have a very bad quarrel with him yesterday or rather today since 12am to almost 330am. And we are on the edge of breaking up. :'(

He said I have attitude problems. Yes, I do have attitude problems. So is he. Told him what I thought & how I feel towards him & our relationship, instead of catching any hints behind the "stories" we end up in a atrocious quarrel.

Don't know starting from when-so-ever, whenever we meet up at my workplace(MRT station there), throughout the whole journey back to my house; we haven't been holding hands not to say behave like a couple. We are simply like 最熟悉的陌生人 who just stand next to each other. We did not talk much either. Even we do, our conversation are pretty short too. Often can see couples behaving intimately in public places, do make me jealous. My bf's a VERY shy boy, that's the only thing I could say. =/

He's an introverted/reticent person. Often I could see him with a "black" face whenever we meet up. He said he's just being tired. Sometimes I asked him anything happened he would say nothing and so I assume it's really nothing that troubles him.

He said, I kept showing attitudes nowadays. Why did I do so? Because of him. Seeing him unhappy affected my mood for that particular day too. Yesterday, I suggested to go Burger King to have our lunch at Simei so that we do not have to walk all the way in if we go to Bedok's branch. He insisted on going to Bedok's branch. In the end, I got fare-up and said I don't want to eat BK anymore. Later on, he said "if you wanna eat BK at Simei den we go Simei eat lor..". I told him straight, "I dun wanna eat anymore.". He: "You want eat den go lor..". Me: "I said, I dun wanna eat anymore.". There starts our cold war for the day. Reaching my house, I asked him to buy his food and I'll go home first and I'm not eating. He got fare-up and refused to eat too. Back to my house, no conversation throughout till 1 hour before he got to leave. He watch his VCDs, I play with silly Z & then nap.

It's darn vexing. Some of my bad points, impatient, stubborn, unreasonable, dictatorial and kooky. Sometimes when I said I want something now, and I really mean NOW. This is why even he said go Simei BK to have lunch, I rejected. Now is now. Whatever happened after now might not be what I previously wanted. Once I set my mind to do something now/in time/on time, I expected myself or who-so-ever involved to accomplish it like I wanted it to be done so. I hate last minute change of minds. Its terribly annoying.

Many of my friends, even my family members (my mum especially), often asked; have I meet up with his parents? Does his family (especially his mum) know about our relationship? My answer, sadly no. He said, his family are very traditional minded. BGR during schooling days especially at young age are not allowed. Okay I'm fine with it, as long we are happy together, I don't really fucking care whether they know about it or not and whatever others said. He told me, his mum would most likely object our relationship if she ever learn about it. She too, when insisting in doing something, she really mean it. This is why most all his family members, except his mum, knew about our relationship.

Last time, whenever I told him about this, he would say "ok, I'll tell my mum. Don't care what she say or even she objects." Now? HaHaHa.. he would say/said: "ok, I'll tell my mum now. She will object. And there would mark an end to our relationship." =/ Contradicting.

Sometimes when my curiosity strucks, I would ask if I could see what's in his wallet and handphones. He would be unhappy and refused to let me do so. Yes, I know its privacy. We've been together for going 1 ½ years and I don't even/never know/see what he have in his wallet or handphones. Since he doesn't like it, I LL too. As if I'm really that gian, that yao gui.

His peers. I really wonder does any of his friends ever know that he actually have a GF for going 1 ½ years already. And yes, if you ever wonder.. I have never ever, see or hear, know or talk to any of his friends before. Don't ever ask me about his friends. I don't know any! =S

He admitted he have changed. Changed to becoming more and more ridiculously demanding. I really don't get what he really want me to change into. A more perfect person? Someone who's more like his dream girl? Noone in this world can/is perfect. I've already tried my very best to change. What else does he still want? Which area/problem with me, he's still not satisfy with?! Attitude? Tell me, how to change it? My character is naturally this way. I am what I am. If he doesn't like the way I am or my character it is, then, why choose me in the very first place? :(

I jolly well know, I'm plump & ugly. Dumb & pretty demanding too. And he'ld see other girls and praise how pretty how good their figures are. If that so, go get their numbers and date them out lor like I always told him since I'm that inperfect & disgracing. I should hide at home forever for being so disgracing to him. Yeah, I feel inferior. And doubt I'll ever get out of this shadow.

I really feel that I do not understand him well. And I totally know nothing about his family and friends other then those he told me. I want to know and understand more about him. If possible almost everything.

I often said "I have bf machiam no bf". Why??!! Maybe is because I don't have the sense of security or is it my inferiority is acting up. Sigh. I don't know. We only get to meet once or twice every week, few hours each time only. Probably that's why I feel that way.

I feel damn stressful sometimes. I want to let him feel proud being with me, happy with me. Letting him know that I'm willing and can change for his sake. I can share his happiness, sorrows and burdens. I'm not just wanting to be with him for just for the sake of being together. He said, he did not ask me to make myself a clown to entertain him upon seeing him having "black" face. Honestly, besides making myself a fool trying to cheer him up/make him happy even only for a short while, I really don't know what else I can do. I really don't know/understand what he is thinking deep in his mind. I'm still trying to figure it. 如果爱他是一种错, 我宁可永远都错下去! 爱一个人, 也要爱他的错和他的一切.. I'm still trying to accomplish this target. It won't be easy, but I'll try.

I've changed so much for him, but why haven he change for me? I don't really expect much. Just hope he'll try to understand what I really want from him. I won't want him to change thoroughly. That would'nt be him anymore if he really do so. Just hope he would at least change his attitude problems(don't say me hor. U yourself oso haf v jialat AP! =/) and be slightly more sociable. He can't be anti-social all the time. When he start working, those anti-social ones are most likely to be bullied and at disadvantage. Put more happy expressions on your face. You're the cutest when you smile, did you know that? Being cool may be really cool but in Singapore, cool is the most uncool expression. And learn to be slightly more humble. This would help you vastly in various areas. And please try to love silly Z! Yes, I know you don't like him. Hate him even more when knowing I love him most. In your eyes, he may be just a silly dog. But in my eyes, he's more than just a dog! And he love you more than me. Can't you just be kinder to him? At least love him abit? Dogs DO have feelings too!

Below are some msgs that he sms me:

Msg 1: I dun expect anything from u liao.. i am in the wrong rite showing how much i love u must definitely b shown to the public i dun hold ur hands is coz we keep unhappy wif each other u really wanna c my hp n wallet so much fine i show it to u but im telling u there is the least privacy to everyone ok.. u wan to c my frens all my frens r gone i rarely contact them coz i spend most of the time wif studying n u.. my family u wan toc my family cant u understand wat my family is like my family is a darn traditional family ok u wan to break our relationship now fine i tell my mum bout us tmr.. oh great next time i shud kiss u more outside public rite show everyone we r rite ok we shud do tat..

Msg 2: n how simple it is to please u u just wan me to hold ur hands den tell me just tell me on the spot its not taht i will get angry or wat.. i will just hold ur hands where is the loving n caring me? dun i care bout u? dun i love u? just ask ur self wat ever i wana do u r not interested n things i dun like to do i still wish to just to please u just like that day u sat beside me the whole nite watching me play the game u noe how happy i was? coz each time i ask u dar u wanna play u wud say no dun wan not interested den i wud play alone n u wud sleep.. ok nvm.. den each time i ask u to watch anime wif me r u concentrating on the show or most of the time playing wif ur son or wat.. n not onli this dun u think u pay more attention on ur dog den me.. i wonder y i always play games at ur house coz u either slp or play wif ur son.. ya sometimes i cannot force u to do things tat u dun wan to do ok.. nvm.. i oso noe there r things tat i promise to do wif u n haven done it example going Ktv wif u n ur jie ya.. but its not tat i dun wan its sometimes very siancoz imagine how weird it is for me to b at the Ktv wif her n her fren u just wanna intro me to her not her fren ok.. sometimes is tat we got other plans too lor not i dun wan to go lor..

Msg 3: Ya u really dun noe my mum i think she is not stubborn thinking like u imagine lor.. she insist on things means she wan it lor n i tell u she is the onli person tat will reject lor.. dun believe u can ask my sister oh n by the way.. to hold ur hands is not for acting since u wan it just tell me sometimes i just get carried away lor.. tell me lor.. n if u still think ur way bout my family den ok good i might as well end this relationship since u say i threaten u wif my mum rite n tat u used to have bf like no bf rite tat means i am not one since the start y not end it..

Msg 4: Did i now say i am unhappy wif u resting.. dun i allow u to rest now.. during the ton last nite can u remember wat i say to u when u got tired.. u always tell me do this do tat i starting say dun wan den u not happy liaoz when i say wan u oso dun wan liao den wat u wan to do.. dun i love u more den ur son.. go marry ur son den.. n did i always ask u to make me happy? u think i treat u as a clown is it?

Msg 5: ya lor im in the wrong lor ok i dunno how to treat girls anyway looks like u think i am threatening u rite fine this time i think i make it a real one isick of it tats tat.. u dun have to entertain me anymore dun sms back too.. looks like everything i say u oso have something to win me i shut up forever..

Msg 6: Who is avoiding now? am i so wat if im not n u think i so childish how do i not avoid like as if i tell u how i feel u will listen if u will listen justnow u already understood wat i have said who is avoiding now get it clear u always think u win coz i hate to quarrel tat is all.. im not threatening okis u n ur stupid thinking ok u blame everything n everyone n everyone is in the fault dun u have no idea tat some freaking problems come from u.. but ujust dun admit oh great u always think ur rite.. fine u r rite anyway i said my piece whether u wanna think ur way n continue its up to u.. if u thinki threatening u now ok lets break up..

PS: I dun wish anyone other person other who might read my blog to comment anything. And I'm not trying to show that I'm actually rite and he's wrong. I'm just blogging what I myself feel. I jusr hope he will understand how I feel and understand me. Above are just my stupid thoughts and what i feel stupidly. For now I'll end here. Hope time will heal all wounds and wind will blow all unhappiness spells away..

=/

2006-04-13T02:52:00.000+08:00

Managed to contact my "sis" last week and visited her on Sunday at her house in Jelapang. Pretty cosy place though alittle inconvenient. She's now 4+months pregnant. And I'm gonna be the baby's god-mummy in September hehe.. She's married for a year already.. Time really flies.....

Did some lame stuffs just now, and to my astonishments, I "found out" that, my EX had patched up with his EX-GF (that bitch that caused us to break-up that time) and got her pregnant; and they are now married. Their baby's already borned into this pathetic world. Its a girl and was named Amory Ng. Duh! What a name! -_-" Happy story huh? My foot.

I`ve been thinking of many things recently. About my future especially. I have many years more before I can get married. My baby just started his poly. Haven even enter NS, go University, start work, buy house and car. Sigh. Maybe I should start taking up some courses and work at the same time, so by the time baby's out from NS, I already have some money hehe.. I`ve been working pretty hard nowadays. Hoping to earn some money for my future course. Most likely needed 6k for a diploma course. Sigh! So much money for studies. EEKz! So much things to do, so broke and so little time! Sigh. I`m falling sick again, especially with my temper worsen, my health issues got worsen too! I on diet too, so, my health is actually in a pretty terrible state ;). But hack care. As long as I can slim ASAP, I would be happy. I might have gotten eating disorder disease. Sometimes I really hate to eat. Sigh. I get tired easily nowadays. Sianz. Maybe I should go sleep soon. Baby might be comin to my house later hehe.. Cya' blOggy! ;D

Dumb, fat, deaf, old & ugly bitch!

2006-04-13T02:12:00.000+08:00

Haven been updating my blog for a freaking long time. But well, I guess nobody ever remembers that I actually have a blog. Sigh. Whatever it is.

I was damn pissed today or rather yesterday. I`m in my room playing some lame games, Jas in her room doing something(maybe watching TV? Whatever she`s doing la!), Dad in kitchen, Mum about to go bathe & my baby Z loitering around in the living room. ha! Then, this bitch came pressing my door bell non-stop during the evening time. I thought its my mum changing the batteries for the door bell so I didn't bother much at first. But silly Z keep barking pretty fierce non-stop, I then realised there's someone outside my house door. So I went to take a look at the peek-hole & this rude bitch open my door when she realised someone`s (me) behind the door peeking through the peek-hole to check out who the fuck is pressing the door bell! Damn her, I can sue her for attempt to break-in into my house! Argh! I open my door & Z squeeze himself through the small opening & I carry him up immediately and this old bitch upon seeing me, start complaining rudely. She accused that my mum actually hang out dripping wet clothes out & causing her freaking dried clothings wet! I checked with my mum and she said she didn't even hang a single cloth out! But the bitches upstairs actually hung many clothes out, and obviously they were the ones that hang out dripping wet clothes!

That damn old bitch keep KPKB non-stop, she keep accusing its us who hang those bloody wet clothes out! Damn her la! She said she actually CLIMBED OUT OF HER WINDOWS AND SAW ITS US WHO HANG OUT DRIPPING WET CLOTHES! HA! What a frigging funny joke/lie I ever heard of! Obviously, she didn't know what is "angle view"! She count from her level up of course will be few storeys difference la! Kaoz! Okay, back to "story"..

I tell her NICELY that WE DID NOT HANG OUR CLOTHES OUT AT ALL! I repeated twice & she stare at me with a "HUH??" look. Then, she keep repeating her old CB story la. I got so pissed that I repeated with louder voice that WE DID NOT HANG OUR CLOTHES OUT AT ALL! she "HUH? I CAN'T HEAR. WHAT YOU SAY?". CCB LA! LIMBU REPEATED 4 times already she then say she can't hear! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!?! I hate to repeat whatever I said. The most I`ll repeat is 4 times. Okay fine! I repeated in a VERY LOUD voice for another 2 times (and I`m carrying silly Z, he`s heavy okay! :S) WE DID NOT HANG OUR CLOTHES OUT! Blah! I wanna tor huey liaoz la! She repeat her old CB story AGAIN! OMFG! I diaoz her & slam my door so freaking hard in her face so hard that I think people few blocks away can also hear it. She really pushed me to my limits.

I DO NOT have a good temper. My temper is extremely terrible. It can be bad to the extend that sometimes the inner/other me can't stand myself too! lolz. And, ever since I got my baby, my voice became from loud to FREAKING LOUD! lolz. Sometimes I chat to Jas in her room, she will ask me to shut up cause' my voice is freaking loud & the others can hear what I'm saying also! LOL.. Unbelievable!

I was so pissed just now, I actually went to my kitchen window and yell loudly to the bitches upstairs that their clothes are dripping wet and we got accused for hanging wet clothes out by the old bitch from don't know which storey. LOL. I yell at a super LOUD voice to MAKE SURE they can hear me. HAHAHA. Song leh! =P. Few hours later I went to check if their wet clothes are still hanging outside or not. & to what I expected, they DID heard my yellings and kept in their clothes! LOLz! Cool.

So, if they ever dare to come up to my house to complain again; I shall not say anything anymore! I`ll simply just open my door, "diao" them abit, then slam door! No point pouring senses, explanations & my saliva into a hollow! Those twits are so dumb, so shallow, so uncivilised; obviously barbarians, so I might as well say none. Actions ALWAY speak LOUDER than words, isn't it ;)? Heh.

analysis

2006-02-08T02:44:00.000+08:00

The results of your analysis say:

>>-->You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry.

>>-->You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones.

>>-->You are affectionate, passionate, expressive, and future-oriented.

>>-->You are not very reserved, impatient, self-confident and fond of action.

>>-->You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

whatever

2006-01-23T16:01:00.000+08:00

I`m depress, sick & being in a state of blur for a pretty long time already. I`ve been crying pretty much recently too. Most probably because I`m over-stressed up. Done alot of thinking too. Thinking about life, friends, friendship, love, money, health, etc.

I wonder what is the real defination of a real friend? True friends/Friends aren't them who will give you a helping hand when you need help even though you hardly know him for a long time? Sometimes I think about the friends I say or rather claimed to be my friends. Are they really my friends like I assume they are? Do they really take me as friend? I mean a real friend? Or am I just happened to be someone they know at a place somewhere out there at a time coincidentally? Or am I just his/her hi-bye friend who doesn't deserved to be taken seriously? So in the end, what`s friend? what`s friendship? what do you mean by real friend, true friend? I can have many friends, but who will be the one really be there when you are in trouble? Who? You? I doubt so. Am trying hard to get out of my "anti-social" status but I think I should just drop out that silly idea. Being anti-social is just great! You won't waste any unnecessary tears or hair on them!

Crying is such a silly thing to do! I shall ban myself like I used to do, from crying again! Maybe except crying for my silly sons, other than that, I shall no longer cry. No more crybaby. I have to learn to grow up and see the true colors of the people around me, this world, everything!

Honestly speaking, I think sooner or later, Singapore will be ranked the first for having many unreasonable, selfish, ill-mannered, arrogant citizens! Singaporeans, if they still don't change their way of thinkings, one day when they go abroad, the first to get whacked definitely will be Singaporeans! Being a Singaporean myself is such a disgrace! I shall migrate to some other foreign countries and never come back anymore.

I think I shall end this i-dunno-what-i-am-blogging blog here. This world is unfair. Die everyone! Satan rules. Black magic rules. Devilism rules. Demonism rules. Ha.

HaPPy 21st BirThDay?

2005-12-30T00:30:00.000+08:00

HaPPy 21st BrThDay tO mYse|f?? :)

hehe..

2005-12-15T00:38:00.000+08:00

Okay.. My BBQ will be Onz as planned previously. & it wont be alot of ppl.. I guess the number of people will be 15 ba.. I ain`t bringing my most dearest & precious son to my BBQ liaoz.. Coz' his daddy ain`t going.. I`m afraid that nobody can discipline him if he ever misbehaves that day.. Sigh......... But anyway! I`ve ordered my cake! LOL! Its pretty pretty!! *blushes!!* ;D & its freaking expensive! So, whoever waste my cake in any way I`ll whack his/her pigu hard!! *evil-luffs!!* ;p

Oh yes, I`ve to thank AH B for e 1st advanced birthday present.. which is a.. towel & hanger gift set from Guardian.. Er.. Honestly.. I don't understand why she bought this lol.. But anyway, Thankies!!!! ;D

& last but not least!! Dearest ah mOnZ mOnZ!! ArigatO gOzaimashta for the pair of 4-leaves clover earrings!! I love it alot!! hehe.. You really haf got good taste sia.. lolz.. Silly me took the earrings out from the box to see around 6times before I reach home lol.. I siao liaoz lolz.. &.. I`ve put them on liaoz!! lolz.. swee swee~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ *blushesssssss!!* ;X omg am I abit too exaggerating? *ROFL* abit la! ;X haha okay la.. I better stop before people start to think Imma insane or what haha.. *pOOfs!~*

siaNz diaOx

2005-12-13T01:22:00.000+08:00

Sigh.. Was so happy that I`ve become a grandma of a sweet little girl.. But today or rather yesterday I den realised that the girl was'nt fathered by my ZenZen but the other piggie we all along thought is a girl! Kena cheated by the damn petshop sia! TMD!! 一场欢喜一场空.. Sigh.. Anyway the baby girl is now bigger than the 1st day of birth lolx.. So cute sia.. Btw, she`s renamed to IppIe instead.. Coz Daddy is IchigO & mummy is PocKy.. hehe..

granny

2005-12-11T21:03:00.000+08:00

Many things happened recently. Theres more bad than good things happened thou.. But I`m lazy to repeat those unpleasant stuffs. Today I have got an announcement to make. I`m now officially a happy grandma to a sweet little baby girl, ZippiE!! My youngest son, ZenXuS is now a proud daddy of 1 sweet girl! Well done, Pocky!! You`re a great mummy! LOVE YA ALL!! *KissY!!* ;D

wiSheS!!

2005-11-26T03:23:00.000+08:00

Freaking tiring everyday nowadays due to my bloody job.. Work 5hrs a day & I`ll be sure doing some washing, scraping, scrubing, or whatever work for 4.5hrs! Tiring! Ain`t happy working this job. Am looking for better 1 & quit it asap althou gonna deduct minus $100 from my 1st month salary! But.. I rather quit then die of over-work. I shall work to the most 3 months(only IF I can bear that long.. lols..!)

My baby keep telling me to buy Nintendo DS becoz his sis bought it & is playing with the Nintendogs! I was wondering why he keep saying Nintendo but not PSP.. Now.. I know why.. COZ' Nintendogs IS.. er.. ya IS.. FRIGGING CUTE!! OMG!! I WANNA SAVE UP & BUY MYSELF 1 if nobody buys that for me.. *cries!!* hehe.. I`m in love with e PINK Nintendo DS.. Doubt it is available in Singapore.. :'( But its okay as long as I can get 1 Nintendo DS with Nintendog cartridge I`ll be super happy already.. At least I wont be thinking of getting another RL puppy for a period of time.. Buahahahaha.. =x

Oh yes, I just bought a new.. er.. no. Should be 2nd hand "new" mp3 player.. Only 256mb.. But its good enough! Coz my damn discman is giving me headaches & I dun wanna waste disc to burn songs in just to play in my discman.. hehe.. But was disappointed coz it does not haf PINK backlight & its BLUE instead of PINK.. lolz.. I`m a PINK-freak nowadays.. So in love with PINK.. & I wonder why.. ;p

Oh yes. My dear friends.. If you didn't receive my msg or if I have left out your name(so sry!).. Just to inform you that.. There will be a advanced 21st birthday BBQ celebration @ ECP on 17 December 2005 @ pit D37. Please do come!! Do bring your bf/gf/friends/siblings along.. Dun bring elder ppl la.. Do bring your dog(s)(if you have any!!) along.. I`ll be bringing my most precious darling little baby boy!! ehhe.. Please dun target my son as part of the BBQ food!! He`s not food!! He`s my son!! If you eye on him.. I`ll hoot you left & right, up & down!! lolz..

L.I.F.E.

2005-11-09T01:49:00.001+08:00

Haven been updating my blog for such a long time. Sigh. Some updates of my recent activities:-

1) Found a job - Spinelli Cafe, service crew part-timer. At SPH(News Centre).

2) Brought my baObei son to Singapore EXPO HALL 4B(SKC dog show) during late afternoon & ECP during evening & walked 2hours back home from ECP Macdonald's on 6 November 2005.

3) Monday - 1st day of work. Nothing much, quite fun. Make 2 new friends, my colleagues.

4) Tuesday - 2nd day of work. Kindda tired today. Done alot of washing. Standing most of the time. Learnt to make few new drinks(ice blend). Tired but quite happy. ;)

5) Today(past 12am liaoz so its Wednesday alr.. keke..) - Just read a blog & cried. Sad. Sigh. http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=dead_cockroach

Some friends asked me before, one day *CHIOY!* if your precious son ah Z, leaves u*CHIOY!!!!!!!*.. What will you do*CHIOY!*?

My answer: Breakdown & cry. Suicide maybe. 100% garantee + chop cannot take it. Thus, forget about the question. lolz.

I realised that my bonds with my precious son is getting stronger alr. I can say that I almost really can't sleep or even live without him by my side, in my life! Few more days to his 10 month' birthday.. Seeing my little precious baby growing up to a healthy little teenager.. Grow tall, handsome, mature.. Its such a sweet process.. The feeling is undescriptable.. The feeling is so.. Touching! I cried when I finally realised that my precious son has grown up healthy..

LOL, I dote on my son so much that to the extend his daddy(my bf)'s jealous over him! He complaint that I cook for my son more than I cook for him.. ROFL!..

Btw, I`ve changed my blog`s midi. It`s Zhi Guai Wo by Maia Lee. ;) One of my new fav songs for now.. ;p

crybaby or?

2005-10-17T17:37:00.001+08:00

I wonder if I`m a real big crybaby or being a over-emotional gal?

Just went to Jess`s blog & haf one of e biggest shocks in my life.. Sigh.. Was playing Lee Hom`s Ni Bu Zai & reading her blog for e 2nd time.. & was thinking how she is now.. & I totally dunno how to console her.. Dunno how to start oso.. I feel tears rolling in my eyes.. Sheesh..

I still remember.. I cried for Qiqi when was too worried abt her that time after hearing her cry.. Now I think I`ll cry for worrying about Jess.. Alamak.. Siao liaoz..

To Jess: Dun be sad.. I know reality is harsh.. I know memories are sweet.. Please dun think too much.. Cry out ur heart if you really feel like doing so.. Dun keep those unhappy stuffs in your heart.. Cry it out.. Cry it out loud!! Dun put blames on yourself(not really sure whats going on :x).. You`ll find a better one in e future!! Dun worry!! Dun think too much.. If you need anyone to talk to, you can call me.. Or I can call you oso.. Anytime, any day.. I`ll be there to be your listening ears/shoulders to cry on.. Dun worry okie? ;) & PLEASE!! DUN DO ANYTHING FOOLISH!! PLEASE DUN AR!!

stressed

2005-10-12T23:05:00.000+08:00

I`m over-stressed. Depress. Tired. Dilemma. Half-way into asylum/grave.

Fan with money. Fan with my boy. Fan with this. Fan with that. So many things to do, but so little time. So many bills but so little money. So many lunatics but nobody catch. Singapore sux. Singaporeans sux. Religion sux. Maths sux. Superstitious people sux. Gods sux. Money sux. Angels sux. Racism rules. Sadistism rule. Satan rules. Devils rule. Demons rule. & hella' yeah, I`m a sadist, I`m racist, I`m devilish, demonic. I`m not born this way. But the circumstances, the World make me this way. Who to blame? You.

I hate Malays. I hate Indians. I hate to be a Singaporean. Such a disgrace. DUH. I`m crazy. Over-stressed. Now I understand why so many people don`t like Malays & 3 Chinese actually got jailed for saying something bad about Muslims/their Religion or whatever it is. But, did you people ever wonder why they want to do this? Why they don`t like the Muslims? Nowadays Muslims are being so arrogant for nothing. Thinking they are sooooo fucking pretty, handsome, rich, high-class asses(they are low-class shits), rude, ill-mannered, shameless, blahblahblah. Adults are like that so the kids they have are aint any better. Like parents like kids. But the 3 Chinese are dumb too. Post topics in DS to say their are not happy with Malays. So stupid. They should take parang & go out & K the Malays they don`t like. At least, more excitements, more shiok. Scold in DS & those stupid Muslims don`t & won`t go in to see. & den get their own asses into jails. Dumbass. ;/

If I`m ever given a chance, I rather be cloud. Being a human is way too tiring, too troublesome. Being a cloud, those little human beings must see my mood everyday. I`m unhappy & I`ll urine on them & I`ll be happy. LOL. I`m happy den good for them. My good friend Mr. Sun will shine on them.

Oh. I heard that posting unpleasant remarks in blogs on religious stuffs might get yourself fine & jailed. So lame. This is lame. If anyone ever read this post of mine & think its offensive to your god-damn religion. Go ahead. Go ahead & report to police, lock me up behind the bars. I`ll thank you for doing so. Free food, free shelter, free holiday who don`t want? ;/

But anyway, I just thought of a new way of saving money. Drop your so-call religion. & you`ll save a lot of money. Don`t have to pray so don`t have to spend unneccessary money on unneccessary praying stuffs or whatever. SO you`ll end up with extra $. Good huh?

I`ve decided to migrate once I have enough money to. Once I migrate, I WILL NEVER COME BACK ANYMORE. =)

GTG, Ears pain. Sheesh.

to be sad or happy?

2005-09-14T01:59:00.000+08:00

I don't know to be sad or to be happy regarding this piece of news. I have to rehome my guinea pigs & someone actually interested in adopting them.. But she might only be able to take 1 or maybe 2 instead of my 3 gals. Sigh. I don't wish to give away them.. But.. SIGH!! I'm still trying the best to keep them all if possible.. I don't know.. If that girl can provide good care, good food & a better living for my gals.. I don't really mind even though I'm really very upset.. As long as they are living well, happy.. I'll be happy too.. :"(

Sigh.. I think I have to rehome my 2 hamsters too.. Boys & gals reading this post of mine, please help me ask around if anyone wants 2 female winter white hamsters.. Rehoming with cage, water bottle & sunflower seeds(no food le so.. heh ;X).. If any of your friends interested please lemme know okay? I need to do some screenings also, to ensure my precious babies are in good hands..

& yes.. I'm trying to keep my only male piggie & my dog.. So.. Don't bother to ask if im rehoming them too.. These 2 are out! Not for sales nor adoption! ;)

im crazy

2005-09-14T00:11:00.001+08:00

Honestly, I really think I am going crazy sooner or later. Why? I don't know. Don't ask me why I don't know why am i going crazy cause' I really don't know. :S

I hate mens aka. periods. My hormones will "boil" up so fast that I can changed 180 degrees to another person in a second! This second you might see me happy, the very next second I'm freaking angry. Why does this happen? Good question! I want to know too! I easily get worked up over minor things recently.

Few days ago, just have a very bad quarrel with my dad. I always do not have a very good terms with my dad. This very quarrel makes our relationship worser.

I should admit that I am really really feeling very stressed. My mum everyday without fail will nag, nag, nag non-stop. My dad as usual black face forever, especially towards my baby boy. My bf doesn't like my baby boy, so are my family members. Whatever they think. Whatever they want. Like I said. HE IS MY DOG, EVEN THE WHOLE WORLD DON'T LIKE HIM, DISLIKE HIM, HATE HIM, DEPISE HIM. I'LL NEVER LEAVE HIM. HE'S MINE & FOREVER MY ONE AND ONLY BABY BOY. So.. whoever tries to lay a fucking finger on my boy. Be prepared to have some gallons of maggots, roaches, lices, leeches, all sorts of insects sleeping with you forever. Okay back to e "stress" topic or whatever it is. I'm indeed damn stressed. Stress given by parents. Stress caused by financial problems. Stress given by school & lecturers. Stress because of projects. Many many things! Im so damn stressed. I'm really going crazy. Everything happening now doesn't seems to be on my side as what I least expect to be/will happen. Everything's against me.

Crying, venting anger, shouting, day-dreaming, listening to music, all stupid methods that I can think of to lessen my level of stress, I have tried most. None works. In fact, I doubt there will be any that will really work. Sigh.

Today, bf sms-ed me saying have qns to ask. But as usual never ask. Keep telling to shoot whatever what he wanna ask & he still refuse to. So.. Why say YOU have qns to ask me in the first place? :S Please don't waste my precious messages, my dear. :S

My legs, my head, my eyes & even my fingers are all freaking tired. Had a damn long walk for hours for the bloody tourism project.

Whatever la. Not in mood to blog anymore. Lazy to check what rubbish I have actually typed. Need not read, whoever is reading. Its just a crap post. Duh.

Dream

2005-09-01T06:06:00.000+08:00

Its been a long time I have a "real" dream. I just have had one "real" dream. I don't know to consider this dream as a sad dream or a happy dream. Cause' it have no ending. I think this dream deserved to have a post in my bloggy although its "ji teh ji teh". And here's the dream..

One day, suddenly I received a sms from my EX. He requested to meet up and if possible a patch. Of course, I rejected. But he keep pestering me & so I agreed to meet him up one day. And on the day I meet him(on the train), I saw my bf. All the while I did not tell him about my EX, his sms and etc.. I was in a lost when I saw my bf. I'm in between my EX and my bf. I'm lost of words. My EX as usual with the "si-beng" character wanted to beat up my bf and keep scolding him. My bf as he is more gentle(si wen), he of course did not want to start a fight with my EX. After the "quarrel", my bf ask me to accompany back home as he have something(the dream end w/o knowing what the "something" is :S) to give me. So I followed him & leaving my EX behind.

We reached his condo and he says wait for him awhile and so I did. I was so embarrassed and guilty as I somehow betray him(this is what I feel). I feel like crying. I walked around the outside of his condo. And when he come down, he failed to see me anywhere I think I walked alittle too far. I don't know if is it because I don't want to face him as I feel that I have let down on him or I'm still in dilemma/lost. He later on sms-ed me. Saying he know what to do, he decide to give up. I was at the edge of breaking down. Suddenly, my EX called and ask me out again. And I agreed(too sad alr anyhow agree -_-"). We meet up somewhere and we start chatting or rather he's the one who's "chatting". He requested for a patch. I was shocked and I did not reply nor agree. He self-assumed that we have patched up. I was cold towards him all the while eng-siew-ing("entertain") him. His looks and style might have changed but his hack-care and take-for-granted character is still there. I'm greatly disappointed. I wanted to ask him if he thinks that I'm "good" I'm the one he can be together with for the end of his life, etc, den WHY did he leave me? And why he look for me when knowing I have a bf already and he have so many EXs WHY don't he go and look for them. Why me? If he really "loves" me, den WHY he don't want me at the first place? WHY he treats me this way? So many WHYs but theres not a single answer to it. I'm just disappointed. Sad. Lost. Unhappy.

One day, I was with Adeline at a bus stop waiting for bus to go somewhere. I was holding on the only neoprint of me and my bf(all the rest of the photos are taken with hp :S) and keep staring at it. Adeline said: "Keep staring at the photo for what?! He's the one who want to break what!" I ignore her. The bus we are waiting for, came. Adeline grab my hand with one hand and the other snatched away my neoprint and throw it on the bench and she pull me up the bus. I was.. Shocked! I'm going to cry! The bus enterance door closed. The bus start moving. I was leaning on the window staring at the photo that was left behind and suddenly I decided to stop the bus and retrieve back my neoprint! i try to force open the door but its too tight and heavy. The bus driver scold me for my actions and i scolded him back and ask him to open the door immediately or i'll break the panels on the door and jump out of the bus! Worried about my safety, he quickly braked and let me alight the bus. I dash to the bus stop and retrieve back my precious neoprint. -THE END- (no ending because I wake up crying. :S)

(I was really crying in real life when I "retrieved back my neoprint". When I woke up I realised my pillow's wet! LOL! I cried twice. The second time I cried because, I realised that how much my bf actually mean to me.)

To My Dearest Baby:

Without you, baby, my life is incomplete. Its empty. Its lonely. Its nothing. Its pitch-black. You are my oxygen, the only energy that keeps me moving and staying alive. You are my everything. I'm glad that I have you by my side. Without you I'm nothing and I have nothing. With you by my side, I feel complete, happy and xin-fu. All I want to tell you is.. I LOVE YOU! And please don't ever leave me. I'll not survive without you and your love! I LOVE YOU, BABY! *muacks*

*please play Mavis Fan's Oxygen/Yang Qi on your own LOL!*

氧气

作词：许常德　作曲：黄怡

沉入越来越深的海底　我开始想念你　我好孤寂

跌进越来越冷的爱里　我快不能呼吸　我想要你

人活着赖着一口氧气　氧气就是你

如果你爱我　你会来找我　你会知道我　快不能活

如果你爱我　你会来救我　空气很稀薄　因为寂寞

eXtreme MakeOvaaaaa!

2005-07-28T01:41:00.000+08:00

Haven been blogging for quite a period of time already. So sorry bout' that ya! ;p

Its so freaking boring recently, so many damn projects. WAD.. EBP.. Tourism.. Damnit! All giving me freaking headaches. But 1 freaking good thing behind the rush of completing all projects in this year is.. 1/2 yr earlier to graduation!! Woohoo!! ;D So.. I shall try my best to complete all these damn projects lols..

I`ve cut my hair on Monday. The auntie there wanted to cut Landy`s new hairstyle on me. Aww.. Sadly that dun suits me & I dun like it either. So i told the auntie no! no! & blah. End up my fringe freaking short & weird. Darn difficult to keep it nice for long unless I use a styling spray.. But I hate these type of sprays so.. blah!

Imma seriously think that I need a extreme makeover! On my looks, my body, my hair, my sense of fashion/way of dressing, & maybe my thinkings too! I started my diet again after a "break" lols. Its tiring.. I always feel tired everyday after school or I should say I feel tired everyday afternoon. LOL. MonZ was on Pepper C, a kind of slimming pills which has only 1 side effect - high risk of getting pregnant(LOL what a lame side effect?), & she slimmed down to acceptable weight already. Damnit! I wanna buy that too! Extrim sucks now. Xando's a waste of money. Tummytrim seems fake. Blah! I shall save up abit for my slimming pills heh.. But I'm darn broke this freaking month. $200 bills waiting for me to clear, $40 to return to my aunt starting of next month, & my dearest baby`s birthday 1st week of next month! And and and!! This weekend(Sunday) Imma bringing my son to EXPO to buy new clothes & maybe his canned food too.. Damnit I need a freaking $160 at least for apparels & food! *sheesh!* And and and!! Next weekend(Sunday again) I need to bring my son to WCDR for the poochies National Day Celebration -_-" & Oh yeah I wanna go see my dearest Landy somewhere in August & I haven buy the latest album yet! Damnit! Need to spend more money on misc stuffs again! Guess this round I cant pay my bills again -_-"

How I wish MONEY will drop down from the sky to my room right now..

tOOtZ blOggy: You must be dreaming, Fat Lard!

LuBBy ^me^: Yeah damn right.. Imma dreaming..

tOOtZ blOggy: Wake up you lazy piece of FAT LARD! WAKE UP NOW! OR IMMA GONNA SLAP U UPSIDE DOWN WITH A SMELLY & SOILED PIECE OF DIAPER!

LuBBy ^me^: NO! I aint gonna wake up!

tOOtZ blOggy: *slapz slapz with smelly & soiled diaper!* *slapz slapz!!* *muahahaha*

LuBBy ^me^: NO! AR! DAMNIT!

tOOtZ blOggy: *continue slapping with smelly cum soiled diaper!!*

LuBBy ^me^: NO! SHOO! NOOOoOOoOoOoOoOoo! *faints*

SIGH!!

2005-06-26T09:31:00.000+08:00

Sigh! Imma supposed to watch Initial D wif my baby on Friday after school.. But when we reached PS at ard 1+pm.. OMG.. All tix sold out.. Left wif 5+ & 6+pm.. Row A somemore.. WTF!! We din watch of coz.. Disappointed.. So he says we go watch on Sat.. But again Sat at Tam.. ALL SOLD OUT again!! WTF! Suai till like that.. >_<" Den he says Sun la.. which is today.. Den i arrange time liaoz.. He say tired.. Change to weekdays >_<" Keep changing & changing till i sianz liaoz haha.. Stupid sia.. All cinemas for Initial D all booked.. bloody hell.. I hope can really watch the movie during weekday ;D

And.. bloody hell.. why weekend so fast ending liaoz?!?!?! duh.. Tmr school.. Sian!!! Sheesh!

ExciTed!!!!

2005-06-15T21:39:00.000+08:00

Okie dOkie blOggy.. Yes yes yes. I passed my exams.. but aint good la.. but cant be bothered as long as no need to retake again can liaoz.. lmaoz..

Sheesh Imma darn excited today! cOz tmr ish coming! why am i so excited? hehe.. my sweet baby says hes giving me a surprise! he asked his frd to bring me a present to my house tmr! but he refused to tell what he haf bought for me.. hehe.. darn excited.. i hope is puppy! lotsa puppies! hm.. PSP! hm.. Digital camera! hm.. mp3 player!.. hm.. 999 roses?! hm.. lolx.. im greedy ;X The best ish he wrapped himself up den send himself over haha.. im the most happy ;D~

k la.. enuff of my craps.. nails too long lazy to type much.. zhaO liaOx. buaiZ! ;p

Happy!

2005-06-13T00:06:00.000+08:00

weeeee v long no blog alr coz that time keyboard spoil.. No keyboard cant type ;S hehe but my sweet baby bought me a new keyboard ;D hehe..

Last week i complain to my bf that i want to buy the game card to buy premium items in the game im playin now.. he scolded me.. but this sat he came my house.. he bought me the card! im so touched! :D wht a surprise sia! lolx.. hehehehehehehe..

Happy~

2005-06-06T20:24:00.000+08:00

Heh I got this from Jessica's blog.. And went to do it lolz.. Below is my result:

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance.

Your ideal relationship is comforting. You crave a relationship where you always feel warmth and love.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

I juz went to my "sister" wedding yesterday.. V crowded n steaming hot! V pretty bride.. :D So happy for her.. hehe.. Was happy these few days.. hehe.. weeeeeeeee~~

What type/breed of poochie are YOU? ;P

2005-05-12T21:57:00.000+08:00

http://www.gone2thedogs.com/

Comments

2005-05-09T00:54:00.000+08:00

Hey bloggy, nO time nO blOg already, mish me? I bet yOu dO lOl. Imma dOing sO-sO nOwadays. Have gOt bOth gOOd and nOt-really bad news.

I shall blOg On the GOOD news first. I was so sure myself and by fellow classmates as well that I will surely be barred fOr my this semester exams. But! surprisingly I was'nt barred! Not even One this semester! What a surprise! Cool isn't it? I will have 2 lesser mOdules tO retake next semester.. Cool! Cool! COOL! ;D But I'll have tO take One Of my last semester's mOdules this semester.. Well well.. Everything have it's gOOd and bad isn't it? After all its STILL a gOOd news. ;P

Hm.. As fOr BAD news.. Its nOt really news though.. Just tO update yOu, blOggy, On what have happened recently. ;)

I have a tiff with my baby(my bf).. On minOr stuffs.. More tO misunderstanding/Over-sensitive matter. But we recOncile On the very night. ;)

As yOu knOw blOggy, I'm a weird persOn. Why am I telling yOu these? BecOz' Imma gOnna talk abOut myself, peOple & their cOmments. ;) A seriOus tOpic huh? Kindda. Go sleep if yOu dOn't like it. But seriOusly I wOuld rather yOu tO read it if yOu're curiOus hOw/what a persOn actually am I. ;)

PeOple.. marjOrity Of the peOple in this World have been through BGR befOre. And sOme will thus gO thrOugh the break-ups Or the edge Of breaking-ups. Each and every single BGR is different. Though they might have similar pOints but they are still different. ScenariO different, reasOns & cause Of matter different, time and place different; and sO its different!

PeOple Or I shOuld say Human beings. Like tO cOmpare. Like tO win/like the feeling Of winning. And they like tO think that they are always right even they are in the wrOng. PeOple like tO cOmment On things that they THINK they are right Or they THINK the thing/matter shOuld happen this way. And hOnestly I persOnally HATES whO are straigtfOrward and speaks befOre they think!

I jOlly well knOw I'm FAT. But I'm cOntented tO hOw I am nOw. So save yOur cOmments On Others. And wtf yOu sO busybOdy fOr?

I jOlly well knOw I'm UGLY. But please tell me the definatiOn fOr PRETTY den. If your answer is YOU yourself? Please kill me den. I belif that there is definitely nO UGLY persOn in this World. Beauty is in the eyes Of the behOlder. As lOng as I myself thinks that I AM PRETTY. So wtf yOu cOmment/k-pO sO much?

I knOw I knOw.. My preciOus sOn is hyper, is naughty, is k-pO, is greedy, is dumb sOmetimes. BUT I, as his mummy. Did NOT even say Or cOmment anything, DEN WHY THE FUCK YOU COMMENT/KP SO MUCH FOR??? He's my sOn OR UR sOn?

I bring my sOn gO fOr walk at the playgrOund dOwn my blOck. Saw this bunch Of kids. I never really like kids nOw and then. I let them pat my sOn and play with him. But! wtf! They want tO feed my sOn WET LEAVES! OMG WTF! And they start tO ask qns starting with AUNTIE THIS AUNTIE THAT! CCB! LIM JIE IS JIE LOR, KNN ALL PAK JIAOs DUNNO HOW TO DIFFERENTIATE AUNTIES AND JIE! CCB! And next they intend tO use WET LEAVES tO beat my sOn! WTF! WET LEAVES! I cant stand these nonsenses any lOnger. I warned them dOn't try tO be funny. And den I walk away with my baObei. We walk tO Other blOcks and walk back tO my blOck and blOOdy hell, there cOmes the bunch Of idiOts. And nOw with dead WET tree branches in their hands! wtf! I immediately grab my sOn and walk intO the lift. I really hate kids! I HATE KIDS! I RATHER HAVE germs den KIDS! But the case will be differ when its my Own kids Or my 2 muis' ;p biased? yesh. ;)

And.. Many peOple asked me this blOOdy qn many many times.. "I TOT new cOuples tend tO meet mOre Often than Old cOuples regardless hOw far the travelling distances? Then why yOu and yOur bf meet Only Once a week? So weird.". Yeah yeah. You THOUGHT! Like what I have answered zilliOn times agO. This is the last time I'll be repeating it. YES, new cOuples definitely want tO meet mOre Often. But. My bf is wOrking Full-time night shift till the next day mOrning daily(except fri and sat), while he wOrks he cannOt sit dOwn but have tO stand throughout the wOrking hOurs. And if I gOt gO schOOl, my stupid timetable will be almOst frOm 8-5 daily(except fri). And schOOl is in West while I live in East. Do yOu knOw hOw tiring it is? "But if yOu really lOve each Other yOu'll still can squeeze sOme time Out tO meet 1 what even tired!" Yea. Whatever. Like I said, dOn't put yOur Own damn selfish thinkings in my shOes! I knOw we can meet after my lessOns and befOre he wOrks. Yes we can meet in the tOwn area tOO! But, it hurts me seeing him sO tired. Sometimes he have tO gO earlier fOr wOrk tO check stOcks and plus his OTs and he have tO stand the whole night. Do yOu think I will still want tO ask him Out? And yes I can gO his place and lOOk fOr him.. Yeah yeah.. He lives Bukit batOk n I live at Bedok.. sOng huh? travel 2 hrs just to say hi and bye. Eat tOO full issit? As well save the energy on resting fOr sat's meet up.We meet up Or nOt is nOt a shOw fOr anyOne either. Its nOthing tO dO with anyOne Of yOu here Or there. Why dO yOu wanna knOw? Sheesh! It dOesn't mean that we meet Once a week Our lOve aint deep. WhO says sO? What the fuck dO yOu understand/know abOut me and my bf? We may be meeting Only Once a week but we knOw hOw tO cherish the little time we spend tOgether even thOugh we might be Only watching tv, relaxing, Or playing with my cutie pie.. Our lOve didn't seems tO deteriOrate but grOws deeper and strOnger instead. cOz' we knOw hOw tO cherish and treasure each Other. This is what we call TRUE LOVE, k-pOs. ;)

I really cant stand peOple cOmmenting On everything even thOugh the matter have nOthing tO dO with them at all! Sheesh!

Last but nOt least. The abOve are nOt pinning On anyOne Or anyOne whO reads/will read my blOg.

Lastly, If yOu are nOt happy with whatever I've blOg. Go ahead leave your whatever cOmments at my tagbOard. I shall ENTERTAIN yOu when Imma in a better mOOd. And This is MY BLOG, YOU dOn't like it? Den Bugger Off. I'll be much happier when its nOt sO pOlluted here. ;)

Envy

2005-04-25T05:58:00.000+08:00

Heh. I changed my fonts color to my fav.. rose-pink/orange-pink. Hehe.

I went to my primary school frd aka a good friend of mine's birthday party at her condo. Rich. ;/

I envy her. I really do!

Her cousin gave her 21 different presents. Almost all branded/exy, which include a big bottle of bird-nest, a big bowl of lingzhi, a perlini silver necklace with a key pendant, blahblahblah. 21 of them. Sheesh. Sibeh ho mia. She received at least 4 branded bags, 3 perlini silver accessories(including my bracelet) & 2 white gold necklaces(her mum bought her a diamond pendant with necklace which cost 1.2k!). And her bf, gave her a big bouquet of red roses(super nice) and a digital camera! A DIGITAL CAMERA! ARGH! I want that too! )= She sibeh ho mia sia. I wonder what other expensive presents she have received that night. Sigh.

Me & bdae girl (blah i look ugly)

Recently, while day-dreaming, I got this idea of organising my birthday this year with my son's 1 year old birthday. Lol. Cool huh? Mummy & son combine party. I'll invite some of my close friends and relatives and I'll invite my son's poochie friends to the party too! And there will be 2 cakes. 1 for mummy n friends and 1 for son n furry friends. Ain't it cool? hehe..

I'vn really decided on that idea yet. Just considering. Might really do it if budget allows. Lol.

Darn, I really want a digital camera! )=

whats wrong?

2005-04-21T03:42:00.000+08:00

I'm having quite a bad diahorrea yesterday. I don't know is it because of my aunt's curry or whatever I ate that day. My stomache aches. Sigh.

Recently, I don't know what's going on with me. I'm kind of insane. I get pissed with everything, everyone, including my baby(my bf), my son and even myself. I have no idea what's wrong with me. The inner me seems to be on pms. Maybe.

I got pek chek so easily that I don't even know why am I pek chek. I get pek chek with my friend. Later I get pek chek with my baby. Then, I get pek chek with my mummy, my daddy, my sisters, my mobile phone, and even my dearest son. Later on, to make things even worse, I get pek chek over my son's playpen, and then I get pek chek with myself. Nowadays I keep pek chek with myself. I wonder why am I so pek chek. ;/

Sigh. I dunno la. I'm going crazy. I am not ME anymore. So who am I? ;S

PS: BITCH TAN LI HUA, CYNTHIA, U MUTHAFUCKER, PAY UP MY $300. U BITCH, HOW FUCKING LONG DO YOU WANNA DRAG THIS DAMN PROBLEM? ITS ALREADY 2 YEARS SINCE U OWE THE MONEY. STOP HIDING U COWARD. PAY UP!

Puppy Mills

2005-04-20T05:47:00.000+08:00

Sigh. I really wonder, whats the hell is going on with humans' brains and what the hell are they thinking. More and more animals are killed or breed illegally(puppy mills) so that those inhumane human beings can sell their skins/fur or their children away for money. Below is a clip on puppy mill:

http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=charlize-theron-pupply-mill

Sigh. Poor animals. If i can really choose, i would rather be a crocodile. Lol. Yeah, their may be cold-blooded animals but mother crocs are good mothers. Heh.

Anyway, for those who wanted to buy puppies(1 of those asses is me la.), how about adopting one instead? Puppies may be cute but they can have lots of problems too. Like mine, he've problems in toilet trainings and some bitting habits and some other minor problems. Young or rather teenage poochies might be even easier to train then you thought. Whatever it is, dun abuse animals. They are living things too!

To YOU, He's just a DOG. But to HIM, YOU're his EVERYTHING.

ps, ps..

2005-04-14T00:45:00.000+08:00

imma sorry for not updating my blog. ;x heh..

Updates on sch: I went to school last Thurs if i din rem.. Tok to the bloody SH for 2hrs straight. Yes. I din quit school lol. Went to school the next day.. So far so good. Still im as broke as usual lol.

Updates on Life: My son juz ate up a poor insect ALIVE. Yes. You din see wrongly. He REALLY ate the insect up ALIVE. *fainted*

Updates on Love: *heh* Still sweet sweet as usual.. Except he keep hinting me go jian fei. WTF. :S

Updates on $$: yes. im still as broke as usual, like i mentioned above.

sigh.. nth much to update.. was thinking shld i bring my son go WCDR this sat not :S big gathering there of 30+ ppl 20-30 poochies. *gian* but i bo lui take cab :( anyone willing to sponsor cab fare for my happiness of a day? ;X anyone? ;X

sigh

2005-03-31T09:23:00.000+08:00

I haven been blogging for such a long time. Sigh. Sorry bout' that. But i was not in the mood to and there isn't much to update about recently.

My puppy's doing fine, getting fatter and fatter each day. n_n

As for me, I wasn't doing fine in any ways. Why? Because of $, family and school. Let me say about school first.

I was barred from all(except one) last semester due to my bad attendances. This semester's debar list coming out soon. Doesn't even have to look at the list I know jolly well I was once again barred. Yes, all again. =/ I once asked my FT about the retaking of exam papers, she said i have to wait till earliest next year's January intakes' exams and i can then take with them otherwise i have to wait till next year's July or maybe even longer. And lets add this semester into the picture. If I'm barred for this semester too, does'nt it mean that i have to take another 1 additional year to just to retake my exams? Waste of time isn't it? Besides, I have no confidence in passing all the exams although I did fairly well for my last CA. And another problem to add to "school", I have almost totally lost interest in the course. You might wonder, "then why you take it last year for?". Well, I AM interested in this course or rather REALLY AM interested in this course LAST YEAR but sadly no more for now. Somehow i feel like achieving this cert for this course(quite a easy course though), but again seeing newspaper's recruit section you'll often see employing ppl on IT programming stuffs plus trainings and u tend to get salary for it too, so why am i still studying and not getting any $ from anywhere whereas i don't even know if my course will help me in any ways in that particular market or not. Dilemma. And after saying all these what I'm trying to say is that i dunno if i should continue my studies and wait to die(because of financial and family problems), or quit now and go work to settle all the problems(if possible) asap. What should i do?

Sigh. Now about family.

My dad's business is doing from bad to worse. Not only we don't earn any money, we got to fork out alot of money to pay the rental & everything just for the stall. My parents suffered a big loss for selling my old house and buying this "new" one. Honestly, my parents owe quite a few relatives and close friends alot of money because of the house and the stall. And sadly when i went out with my mum yesterday, she told me she have sold/pawn almost all her precious jewellery which are all bought with her own savings and some are memorable too(her dowry, her jewellery that she bought before she married to my dad) just to pay the debts which are all owed by my dad not her. I see her suffering this much, it really hurts me. There, idea of quitting school stucks my head again. I was thinking if i can find a permanent job with salary around 1k per month i can give my mum a hundred or two so that she can buy some things that she like. Because of the bad business, my dad is unable to pay my house's bills(telephone, electrical, misc) and often get to see the pink coloured reminder letter for the bills being sent to my house. And in the end who paid for these bills? My mum of course. She went around borrowing money from her friends. And my dad? He doesn't even know how to appretiate my mum's kindness, sometimes even have the cheek to ask my mum to borrow from her friends to help him pay up the bills. He doesn't even dare to borrow from my grandma. What a man! Sometimes when i comment about my dad, because I'm really very disappointed in him, my mum will turn to scold me! What the hell! But nowadays seeing my mum so pity and i couldn't help at any ways I really feel so guilty and sad. Maybe quitting school and look for job is the best way to help her abit. Nahx not my dad, I won't help him. I have told him to close the business down and he doesn't take my advice so i won't be bothering about him much anymore.

Lastly, my own problems which are driving me crazy. Bills. My bills and bills that are not mine too. I just paid $87 last week for my Internet and SCV bills. And I just received my hp bills of 2 months of $104. And my ex's bills of $152 every month(till sept must pay up all) must be paid on the 5th. Both bills crash at the same week. And i only haf my very last savings of $100 to use. I don't know which should i really pay first. If it wasn't for this bloody bill, I wouldn't be suffering so much. My monthly allowance might be alot to most students out there but to me it wasn't even enough. A month of $350 to $400 of allowance, 3/4 or more went to pay my bills and that bloody bill, the remaining will be used for my puppy's food and so. You might be thinking why 3/4? Its because $152(bloody bill) + another $150+ for Internet/SCV/hp will add up to a $300++ & I'm left with sometimes a $50 to most $100 for the whole month. As most people know, I love my pets like crazy. So i rather starve then seeing them starve, so end up i usually don't eat outside/much or did'nt even eat at all sometimes just to save up some money so that i can buy some treats or their food for them. A week more to the date of that bloody bill but I don't even have 1/5 of the amount of money to pay up. Don't think anyone will believe but I really went to Ca$h Converters to sell some of my stuffs to earn some extra allowance for myself last month and now i have nothing valuable to sell already. I'm really at my wits' end.

Sigh.

Guess maybe I really have to quit school. It wasn't what I expected. But I don't have any better choices to choose from, do I? Sigh. I'm depressed. Tired. Stressed. On the edge of breaking-down. And.. I really wanted to buy another puppy(a female 1). Guess that dream won't be coming true. )=

Sign Off.
super depress LuBBy.

wtf?!

2005-03-10T11:49:00.000+08:00

wtf is goin on in this world? why is there such ppl? see below clip.. sigh..

ps: ppl wif weak heart/heart problem, dun see. sigh.

http://hk.geocities.com/blood1213/fur.html

wOOt! my ever very 1st puppy! ;D~

2005-03-01T22:50:00.000+08:00

a super tired day.. but imma super happy today.. why? n_n

well, 1st time i hugged a puppy so small.. 1st time carry a puppy lol! mountain turtle? kindda~ lolz.. but well.. i saw a rare pure white JRT female puppy today.. 1st puppy i ever hugged! lolz.. so sweet.. so gentle.. so cute lil' puppy! but sadly.. its kindda exy for my budget.. & my "bonds" between this lil' sweetie aint really too strong.. so.. i headed to see another JRT (Parson) male puppy.. i was attracted to this particular puppy ever since i saw his pic.. coz of his spots on his lower back lolz.. & i reached the "owner"`s house.. OMFG! HERE COMES THE MIGHTY JRT PUPPY!! he dash over to the door! OMFG! isn`t he CUTE?! OMFG! i think im in LOVE wif this puppy already LOL!.. after gettin to know more abt the puppy`s backgrounds.. met the puppy`s sweet parents.. & kena bitten by the puppy.. molested by it oso.. i made up my mind.. i decided to buy this puppy! hOhOhO! :D after ard 45mins or so later i paid some deposit to the "owner" and told him when i wanna take the puppy.. so on and so on la.. haha..

so happy sia.. i even took a pic of him! this lil' monkey of mine ish so hyperactive that it simply juz cant rest for a second! i took a few mins juz to take 1 pic of him what the.. v_v" lolz!

but now back @ home.. i kena scolded by my xiao mui for buyin a puppy.. imma 101% sure.. garantee plus chop sure kena scolded+naggings+blahblahblahs from ALL my family members esp my mum! i can bet its a sure! haiya but i cant be bothered much either coz this ish my only wish for my life & i fulfilled it earlier den the date i set for myself! woot! kewl! shiok! haha! i juz cant stop smiling to myself.. lolz.. lame isn`t it? LOL.. but cant be bothered much I FINALLY BOUGHT A PUPPY! mUahAhahahAhahahahA~ lolz.. hehehe.. hahaha.. lalala.. *piakz* lolz.. *piakzpiakz* LOL.. *PIAKzPIAKzPIAKz!* MUAHAHAHAHHAHA.. i juz cant stop luffing!!!!! omfg haha~

Btw my puppy`s name ish ZacKcuZ~ ^-^ nice huh? ;p

ok here`s the 1st pic of my ZacKcuZ! *tadah!*

PS:NO COPYING OF MY PIC! I`ll SLAP U HARD! I MEAN WHAT I SAY! ;p

annOuncement!

2005-02-03T23:53:00.000+08:00

DaODaO`z family Of mine..

Plz kindly nOte that.. Janice haf requested tO quit/leave DaO² tOday. ReasOns she given ish persOnal reasOns therefOre i OsO dunnO what`s the reasOns lolZ..

& 2nd annOuncement Of the day ish that.. Adeline aka DaO² maid.. haf prOmOted Officially by me tO the pOst Of.. Head Of maids.. haha.. OppS.. shOuld be.. the yOungest DaO sistas..

So.. the pOsitiOns nOw ish..

1st->Ivan
2nd->Me
3rd->Qi
4th->Lin
5th->Ade

lolz.. thats all for the announcements.. thanks for reading LMAO!

HeH

2005-01-24T01:33:00.000+08:00

Hi blOggy! heh.. surprised tO see me sO happy huh? *giggles*

yeah i`m happy.. went Out wif my DarDar tOday hmZ.. i shOuld say Yest heh.. suppOsed tO meet him @ Yishun but we changed to meet @ bOOn Lay instead.. sO happy tO see him cOz was mishing him badly the day befOre..

We walked ard JP & suddenly he tOld me he actually dun like JP becOz it was the place where he and his ex brOke-up.. *bahx* sianz 1/2 tO hearing him mentiOn his ex suddenly.. *sighs* but in Order nOt tO spOil the mOOd i pretended nUffinGz happened & we cOntinue walk ard the stupid mall..

We went tO see puppies & i saw GR! Omfg! i saw cOrgi tOO! wOw!! & i saw a cute white puppy.. guess its was maltese & westie mixed~ sO cUtE!! silkieS & yOrkshirEs aRe cUte tOO~ haha~ i lOve Their kawaii-nEss Omfg! hOw i wish i can juz bring either one of the pups there hOme rite away.. *sighz* but imma juz way tOO brOke tO affOrd 1 nOw.. dun even haf the $ tO eat sOOn/feed my terrapines liaOz.. sO the wish Of getting a pup @ this yr`s x'maS i doubt its gOnna cOme thru.. *cries*

Oh yea.. FINALLY i get tO take neO-caRd wif my dardar!! WEE!!!!!!!!!!! *bOunCeS ard hAppiLy* oopps.. heh.. & i tOOk fEw piX Of uS On thE trAin(he sEnd mE hOmE heh) & edited sOme.. bUt i lOOk Ugly in all thE piX lehz.. Omfg.. imma getting fatter damnit! hehe.. sO haPPy seh.. *blushes* Imma tinKinGx mAybE i`ll change the Jay`s pic tO slide shOws & all displaying pix Of me *xinfu* & my dardar ;D well.. maybe i really shOuld! ;D~

but the prOb ish.. imma laZy.. LOLz.. sO.. wait till CNY.. where imma mOst free mOst Of the times.. heh.. i might really change the whOle design Of my blOg.. we shall see.. ;p

& last but nOt least i wOuld like tO say this.. I knOw i knOw jOlly well.. my bf ish quiet.. & maybe u peepz Out there dOes`nt like him.. but.. whO careS abOut U dOn`t like him? as lOng as I LIKE HIM, u can juz mind ur Own gOddamn business Or better, get a life. lOlx.. i knOw i may be crude by sayin the abOve but.. well.. as lOng as i in lOve wif him.. i juz hOpe tht U`ll juz gif us the blessings instead Of thOse unpleasant cOmments.. nOOne ish perfect in this wOrld thOu.. sO.. heh.. ;)

*mUacKz blOggy*

wEeeEe~

2005-01-21T01:32:00.000+08:00

1stly.. Imma like tO wish my dearest bud aka MEIQI~ A HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY!! MAY ALL UR WISHES COME TRUE!! & PRETTY 4EVER~ love ya bud~ *muacks!* ;D

Okay 2ndly.. anyOne still rem ZQ? lolZ.. this tOOtie arSe nV cOntact me sO lOng siA!! haPpenEd tO sEe hIm @ msn.. msg-ed him... & sigh.. he`s like sO busy.. wth..

LimbU dOn`t wanna tOk tO u anymOre liaOz la, Qiang! sibeh bO sim 1 u~ kaOz aE! *arbish!* <--tO ZIQIANG!

sigh. Imma miSh my dardar.. he`z sick.. kena cOmmon flu.. Imma guess Imma the 1 whO pass tO him.. damn me. $^%&*()+_^%^()_. dunnO ish he gOnna meet me tmr Or nOt.. hOpe he can make it.. haben see him fOr a week liaOx.. bahx.. sigh. *humph*

sigh. sianz la. fOrgOt wht i wanna blOg abt liaOz. sua la. aLiL' nOt in mOOd againz. Imma gOin tO keep myself busy wif all the hOusehOld chOres nOw. ciaOz~

*muacks blOggy*

Wht The..

2005-01-20T01:57:00.000+08:00

sigh.. actually wanna add a new wish list.. but... damnit.. i cOuld`nt find a nice cute lil' pic tO use as bullet.. & hell tO it.. theres many prOblems tO the settings.. bahx!~ whteva la~ laZy tO edit liaOz.. gOt mOOd den cOntinue whteva i stOp tOday ba~ ImmA tirEd aLreAdy.. gOnnA gO zzZz sOOnz.. will blOg when i feel like blOggin~ ciaOz~

*muackZ blOggy*

sianz

2005-01-18T13:37:00.000+08:00

sO siAnZ.. Imma in sChOOl nOw aFtEr pOntEn-inG fOr 3 dAys sinCe laSt thuRs.. sChOOl ish sO bOrinGz.. It sImPly jUz sUx.. rEaLLy hOpEs it cOllaPse aSaP.. haha.. i knOw i knOw ImmA dAy-dreAminGz aGaInz HaiyA whO cArEs? lolZ..

siAnz lA.. wAs sEaRchINg my whOle hOusE(i mEaN my nEw hOusE) thE whOle Of thE mOrninG tO lOOk fOr my wATchEs(any wAtch) & braCeLetS(any BrAcELet) buT i jUz cOuldn`t finD a sIngLe 1... DamnIt... dUnnO wHerE thE hECk did i kEep thEm... dArn.. my rOOm in FacT mY whOle hOusE isH in a bIg mEss.. LaZy tO unPaCk & tidy uP.. lolZ.. i ShaLL tidy thEm whEn i tInkZ ImmA in mOOd tO.. LmaOz.. ImmA gOddAMn LaZy.. lolZ.. thAt`s mE.. ThE LaZy PiggY JuZ LikE whAt my DaRdar sAy... lolZ..

SiAnZ im sO FriGGinGz brOkE thiS dArn wEek.. ThiS fRi wiLL bE my deArest buD aka QIQI's 20th bDaE & itS hAri raYa tOO.. wE(thE DaOz` FamiLy) wiLL bE gOin tO sTEambOaT @ MarinA Bay.. mOst prOb thE saMe 1 wE wEnt tO ceLebRaTe LinLin's bDaE laSt yR.. hEh.. bUt sAdLy QiQi gOnnA pAngSeh uS aFter stEambOat fOr a sUrpriSe by hiS BF VictOr.. *wOndEr whT kiNd Of sUrpriSe* lolZ..

sIAnz AgaInz lolZ.. jUz nOtiCe all mY pArAgrAphS stARt wiF SiaNz.. bUt wTevA La.. siAnz ish my kOu tOu chAn lOlz.. Oh.. I waNNa gO cHinAtOwn tO sEe sEe lOOk lOOk LehZ.. whO wANnA gO wiF mE? ;P i wAnnA gO IKEA tO bUy sOmE niCe nEw hangErs & a rUbbiSh bin.. bUt.. ImmA brOke!! sIgh~ saD mAn.. dUn evEn hAf thE $ tO eAt liaOz.. gUeSs i gOnnA wAit tiLL nExt WeekEnd dEn cAn gO IKEA shOpshOp liaOz..

sIAnz.. frOm yEst 9+pm reCeivEd hiS LaSt sMs tiLL nOw gOin 1pm LiaOz.. hAvbEn reCeivE a sIngLe SmS/caLL frOm him.. He aR alwaYs sAy wAnnA caLL mE.. bUt sOmeTimEs nV.. sAd siA.. HaTe ppL tO brEak prOmiShES.. dUnnO wTf iSh hE dOin nOw.. i cOMpLainT tO a frD yeSt aBt hIm.. He sAy.. "truSt yOur BF La".. thE prOb nOw iSh nOt i dUn tRuSt him.. Ish thAt.. He wOn`t auTomATic UpdaTe mE aBt hiS wHEreabOutS & wht`s hEs dOin At thE mOmEnt lOr.. he OsO wOn`t cAll mE auTOmAtic 1.. alWayS muSt mE nAg hE wiLL den taKe a lOng sWeet tImE den caLL me.. sighz.. dUnnO La.. sighx.. sO siAnz siA.. OnLy gET tO See hIm OncE a wEek.. siGhz.. hOpe sAtuRdAy cOmEs eaRlieR..

siGhz..

*HuMpH* Ke Ai De XiaO Sa zHu MISH hEr DaRDaR~ *HuMpH*

Kewl

2005-01-13T13:19:00.000+08:00

Kewl, i learn some new html skills yest & i manged to put them up in my blog.. Nice?

There's a new midi for the blog too.. haha.. Nice song huh?

Kewl.. So happy lolz..

Any comments anyone? ;p

I might not be able to online for this weekend as i most probably would be moving & unpacking my stuffs to/@ my new house.. So.. Anything impt den msg/call me ba.. ~ Tc PeePz. ^_~

PUI!!

2005-01-05T05:41:00.000+08:00

Sigh... lOusy me... Once again fall sick... Right after Janice's chalet yest... suai sia... Feeling dizzy, vomiting... Sigh...

Went to FS... The webby i hate the most... & saw some OBSCENE pix.. *PUI*... A TRUE MUTHAFUCKER & A BITCH. eek. I better my eyes wif eye-wash after blogging... eeeeeeeeeeee... Dun ask what i saw... Not gonna tell u... but read those words in caps... Go figure out urself if ure really so k-po...

Sigh... I feel so bored... I was lieing on my bed for a couple of hours but still cant fall asleep... WTH... I alwayz shi mian... Knn... I really going to look like a panda sooner or later... Or maybe worse... A zombie? lolZ... We shall see...

I got a feeling that today will be a real bad day for me... Coz my stomach feeling kindda pain now... Must be my lao mao bing... er... Dun ask what lao mao bing... Not gonna say oso... Those know what is going on keep ur mouth shut. Okay back to the bad feeling... Frankly speaking i dunno how to explain this weird feeling i'm having right now bloggy... It... It juz feel damn suck. I've been trying to cry since yest... But until now the tears still refuse to come out... wtf... Maybe u wanna ask Why u wanna force urself to cry for? Nah... There's lotsa stories behind it... But anyway today will be a bad day for me... Maybe i'm right maybe i'm not...

Sigh... I hope the weekends will come faster... Cant wait till the days come... Gonna enjoy myself as much as i can... School's gonna re-open on Jan 10... Eeek!! Boring!! I hate school. Hope it will collapse one day... lolZ... Oki la bloggy... I shall stop here for the time being... Feeling my stomach real damn pain now... Tears coming out soon too... Might continue blogging againz tonight... See how bahx...

Mish ya bloggy *muacks*

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

2004-12-30T01:12:00.000+08:00

WeEeeEee~ its mY biRthdAy!!!!!! hahahahaha... nuffing muCh tO sAy lehz.. but i wOuld like tO pOst a sOng LyrIcS... tO mysElf... ;p

祝我生日快乐
曲：周杰伦词：郑中庸编：林迈可

我知道伤心不能改变什么那么让我诚实一点诚实难免有不能控制的宣泄只要关上了门不必理谁

# 一个人坐在空荡包厢里面手机让它休息一夜难像切歌切掉回忆的画面眼泪不能不能流过十二点*

生日快乐我对自己说蜡烛点了寂寞亮了生日快乐泪也融了我要谢谢你给的你拿走的一切

@ 还爱你带一点恨还要时间才能平衡热恋伤痕幻灭重生祝我生日快乐

Repeat # * @ @

...

2004-12-04T01:20:00.000+08:00

sIghX... i'm nOw siTTin slOnE InfrOnT Of mY Old mOnitOr giVen bY mY EX... In mY rOOm aLL aLOnE... lOokIn aT thE cLOck... sEe TimE paSses by eVerY sEcOnds... & my heaRt sTiLL nOt yEt recOvEreD frOm thE deEp cUt wHiCh i gOttEn On May 11 2004...

Im sO bOrEd/cOnfUsEd nOw... KinDDa sAd... DrinKin' CarlSbErg & smOkIn hUnKi aLonE... LisTeninG tO bOnnIe McKee's sOmEbOdy~

" Somebody "
Bonnie McKee
( Trouble )
I sit aloneIn the dark theatre watchin' the people go byhand in hand everybody but me oh

I stay behind watchin' the credits roll byroll roll roll right by meI know, I won't crycause there is somebody somebody somebody waitin' for meout in the rain oh

cry not tonightbecause there is somebody waitin' for meoh yeahI take a walkthe streets are busy tonight and I am searching for you waiting to brush your shoulder

But I'm aloneI watch the faces roll by roll roll roll right by me

But I know, I won't crycause' there's somebody somebody somebody waitin' for me out in the rain oh

cry not tonightbecause there is somebody waitin' for me

How many words will go unspoken

Not knockin' on my door

I'm not talkin' the night I spent heart broken

BUt tonight I knowI won't cry no more oh

I lie awakeI left the porch light onI hope it helps you to find your way outside

I hear the thunder roll by roll roll roll right by me

But I know, I won't cry cause' there is somebody somebody somebody waitin' for me out in the rain

Not gonna cry tonight

no cause there is somebody waitin' for me not gonna cry tonight no no no no no oh

not gonna cry not tonight cause there is somebody waitin' for me

I stay behind watchin' the credits roll byroll roll roll right by me

Jay Chou Concert

2004-11-27T01:42:00.000+08:00

KewL!!! i wEnt tO JaY's cOncErT alOnE tOdaY... @ sIngApOre IndOOr sTaDiuM.. DaMn FriggIng GreAt!! Landy's damnnnnnnnnn HOT!! wOOt!! i bet loTsa guyS nOsE blEed On sEeing hEr shAke heR sExY bUtt LMaOx.. thOu wEnt alOnE miGht bE abit siAN lA.. bUt sTiLL i enJOyed mysElf.. greAt cOncErt... ~*claPs for jAy*~ =D

i recOrd dOwn sOmE videOs dURin thE cOncErt uSing mY nK 7610 hEH... recOrd till all meMOry fuLL LmaOx.. aNybOdy wANnA sEe juz tEll mE ba.. i'll shOw u.. hahaX...

im still cOnsiDering whiCh cabLe plAn tO siGn uP siA.. maXOnLinE 3k or 1.5k... 1 wiF frEe cOmputEr... 1 gif frEE bluetOOth enAbleD PrinTer.. siGh...

i thInk jOlin & ShE cOnCert i mOst prOb nOt gOin liaoz dAmn brOkE... sAve uP thE mOnEy sIgn cabLe bEttEr lolS...

sIghX... i gUeSs i wOntbE blOggIn tiLL i mOvE hOusE.. (im mOvin hOusE on my bDaE -_-") siAnx.. i gOt a headaChe nOw... sIgh... hMx... thats aLL fOr tOdAy... nItEyz bLoggy *muACks* LOL.

Food Poison~

2004-11-17T08:30:00.000+08:00

oh fucking hell, i kena food poison yest...

freaking sick *damnit*!!

early in the morning probably ard 5.55am... i'm vomitting my meal the nite b4 out... eek!! im supposed to go school for my ST2(in case u ask whats ST2, its sth like computing) CA test... im so blur that i took the wrong bus what the hell!! i forced myself to walk to the mrt station wif 1 hand pressing on my stomach, the other covering my mouth(in case i vomit on someone lols).. all the way till i reached Paya Lebar, my mobile fone rang... its my class advisor aka form teacher.. i called him b4 i go out my house and berlardi hell he din pick up the fone... so i quickly rush out the train(nice timing?) & ask him "what if i din go today's test? can i still retake it?" he replied "yes if u haf mc or..." blahblahblahx... too sick to rem what our conversion is liaox... so i sit at the icy cold stone bench? hmz... whatever it is at the mrt station and huala!! i cried =/ lols i cant stand it anymore... feel like jumping down the mrt station straight away!! luckily the train came ard 30secs later... i board the train(still wif my hand covering my mouth) & tahan till i reached bedok interchange.. hell again theres no bus!! i walk near a rubbish bin & i saw a box & thinkin if theres still no bus in 1min time i'll vomit in it lols.. luckily a bus came... i board it & soon i reached home... my mum's already at the door waitin for me... i rush to my toilet tryin to vomit but failed... so i lie on my bed for probably 20mins.. & den i vomit for ard 6 times straight!! SIX timEs!! can u imagine? i was like omg im goin to faint soon.. ard 10am my mum bring me to the clinic.. damn hell the queue is damn freaking long... everybody there doesnt look sick except for me whose lips already turning white/pale.. dunno izzit becoz i sit at the clinic too long or whtever i vomit again =/ & i got 3 diahorrea too(mind u, i did the vomittin & diahorrea in the toilet la of coz duhx).. my dad was so worried that he asked the nurse to lemme see the doc 1st.. on seeing me half dead the nurse agreed... still i gotta wait another 5mins or so... sighx.. i told my doc or my mum told the doc(i 4got) whats wrong wif me & the doc say hes goin to gimme an injection(expected =/) so i got an injection on my left arm(actually supposed to be on my butt but i dun 1 so i told the doc i want it inject on my arm)... hell i feel even more dizzy... i rested at the clinic for a couple of mins den my mum quickly bring me home... not long after i reached home i got few times of diahorrea again.. hell... dunno whts freaking wrong... argh... i felt so unwell i was slping the whole day yest... until now i still feel pain at my stomach, chest, back, neck & head.... ARgHHH but was much better den yest at least i can blog now lols... wif a hand at my stomach la... sighx... dunno when will fully recover.. now dunno im hungry or bloat... my stomach's weird hahax.. hell i think i goin back to zzZz for an hr or so after blogging... yawnx... k la i shall blog again when i recovered... hehx...

love ya bloggy *muacks*

mUaHaHaHa..

2004-11-08T21:35:00.000+08:00

A: The fish in the water look happy.

B: But you are not the fish, how do you know that they are happy?

A: But you are not me, how do you know that I don't know that the fish are happy?

B: But you are not me, how do you know that I don't know that you don't know that the fish are happy?

A: But you are not me, how do you know that I don't know that you don't know that I don't know that you don't know that the fish are happy?

B: STFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *shoots self*

SiaNx

2004-10-20T08:58:00.000+08:00

nOw in sCh zUo bO laN.. sIbEh sIaNx.. eaRLy in The mORnInG eVen thE crOwS aRe sTill in DreAmLaNd, im alReaDy aWaKe... pRepArE tO gO sCh LiaOX... knn... thE mOmEnt sTep intO cLaSs bErLaRdi aHmAd sAy tEsT poStpOnE tO tmR... LuCKy i nV sTudY lmaox...

siAnz de yaO si liaOz la... aRghhh!!! i wANt fOOd =X sigHx gimmE foOd... gEi wO yi dIan Chi de bA~ =X

siAnz... sianz... sianz... SIANZ!!!

mOndAy nitE wEnt tO mY siS's s chaLet... tOt wiLL seE maNy chaO bEngS in thE enD nOt mAny ppl... OnLy 1 yandaO... sO... ke lianz =/ reGret stAYin OvErnitE thEre... no yandao see... no chiobu to bio... nth to tok.. no vcds to watch... no cds to listen to... sighx... all machiam idiots sit there Wait fOr timE to pAss... wAstin my pReciOuS timE... LuckY @ thEre machiAm nO gOvErNmEnt cAn smOke tiLL u sEH... drink tiLL u sEh... bUt u pAy ursElf la... haha... no $? den coUnt urSelf suAy lOr.. hahax...

knS... sTh faRniE... my clAsSmaTe... jOsh aSk mE... "what wiLL hAppEnEd if i pLuck thiS thiNg Out?" (He's RefeRRing tO thE cpU's pluGS)... my replY... "i'll slap u. ;)"

lolS... knS sibEH bO liaOz.. if he reAlly pluCk thE wiREs Out.. i wOnt poSt toDay liaoz... tOO laZy to retypE all theSe chUnkS aGAinz.. hEh...

Oh onE moRe "jOkE"... my siS... aDeLinE tell mE @ thE chALet... thAt my cLaSsmAte... BRUNO... smSed hEr... somE days agO... aSkin hEr... "whaTs ur 1st impResSion Of mE, whEN u 1st sAw mE?" LOL!!! wHt thE... HECK?! LOL!!! My siS aSk... "why lehz?"... he sAy... "no la.. i saw a mEI nU @ thE caNtEEn tHEre mA..." i think bruno better go see spEciaList. hE's hOpelEss. =/

lolz no i sayin my own sis not pretty lor.. juz that diaox la... why her? she pretty? oh gosh... i wanna faint... if bruno wanna sianx my sis... wah diaox.. tell u lor... i conspermz... opps i confirmz faint... lolS... AnyWay la.. hOpEfuLLy hE cAn "waKe uP"... & gET bAck tO reaLity lOr... lOOK fOr sOmeoNe elSe bA... lolS...

k la... enD Of my cOck tOkS... i'll stop hEre teACher kp liaOx.. jAa... *muaCkx bloggy* ;P

WHY?!

2004-10-18T01:11:00.000+08:00

knn lorx... juz now my earlier blog i mention abt ZQ whether shld i tok to him or not... & suay suay he msg me... mahde... i'll paste our conversation here...

[10:32:27 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: YoZ
[10:32:38 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : =/
[10:32:42 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: harlow
[10:32:47 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: long time no see
[10:32:47 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: hehe
[10:32:50 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: how r u?
[10:33:05 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: nv contact me so long liao
[10:33:08 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: =x
[10:33:11 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : =/
[10:33:18 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: y u crying?
[10:33:27 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : nuffin.............
[10:33:40 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: can see like very tong ku
[10:33:44 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: tell me la
[10:34:02 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: wei~
[10:34:05 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: !!
[10:34:13 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : nth
[10:34:14 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: who bully u
[10:34:23 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : nobody
[10:34:44 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: huh?
[10:34:47 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: how come eh?
[10:34:53 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : ?
[10:35:06 AM] * ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏäñG `¯¹²³ <> is now Online
[10:35:08 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : nobody bully me....
[10:35:12 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: hmm..
[10:35:17 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : ?????
[10:35:19 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: den why u cry?
[10:35:32 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : ae.. nth...
[10:35:32 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - auto-message: plz fucking get out of my world u muthafarker!!!
[10:35:40 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
[10:35:46 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : ?/
[10:35:59 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: who u tok Ing to sia
[10:36:12 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: u sound damn pis sed
[10:36:27 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : nola
[10:36:27 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: i show u something
[10:36:30 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: a baby
[10:36:34 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: very cute de
[10:36:36 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: kiss
[10:36:40 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: cann see?
[10:36:45 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : diaooo
[10:36:48 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: woots
[10:36:52 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: lolx
[10:36:54 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: can see
[10:36:57 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: ?
[10:37:06 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : -.-"
[10:37:10 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: lolz
[10:37:26 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: okay la.. dun disturb u le..
[10:37:33 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: u take care okay?
[10:37:36 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : nola
[10:37:42 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: dun tink too much\
[10:37:47 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : =/
[10:37:48 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: how bu how
[10:37:53 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: =)
[10:37:56 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : no.
[10:37:59 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: change ur display pic also
[10:38:09 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: dun cry le
[10:38:14 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : mAi
[10:39:24 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: later i go check moi mail le
[10:39:25 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - auto-message: plz fucking get out of my world u muthafarker!!!
[10:39:41 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: oi
[10:39:42 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : huh?
[10:39:45 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: dun lidat la
[10:39:51 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: u can see the mailbox
[10:40:00 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: Mail box?
[10:40:08 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : too small.
[10:40:12 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: oic
[10:40:12 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: olx
[10:40:15 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: lolx
[10:40:15 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: oops
[10:40:17 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: sori
[10:40:18 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: wait ar
[10:40:21 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: i go deleter
[10:40:23 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: delete
[10:40:27 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : ur fonts
[10:40:30 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : very
[10:40:36 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : irritatin -.-"
[10:41:56 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: u got watch kids central/
[10:42:17 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : ..
[10:42:22 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : diaooo
[10:42:34 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : watchin y
[10:42:35 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - auto-message: plz fucking get out of my world u muthafarker!!!
[10:42:51 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: hee
[10:43:19 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : ?/
[10:43:28 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: ??
[10:43:29 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: lol
[10:43:48 AM] ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏä: nice display
[10:44:28 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : sian
[10:46:08 AM] ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ - : ¹²³¯´ zÏ•qÏäñG `¯¹²³ <> says: <===想谁?/

(knn ask him miss who he purposely offline ccb. & why the fuck he msg me for? cb lor... fuck him. ARGH)

fed-up liaox... cant be bothered abt him anymore. die oso nomb liaox. fuck care so much. my brains damn frigging hurts. guess i smoke alittle too much. =/

MiDi sOnG

2004-10-17T07:42:00.000+08:00

i HaF rEmOvEd mY Midi sOnG frOm mY bLOggY cOz' i HeArd thAt thE wEbbY im uSinG iS uSinG spYwArE... sO tO PlaY sAfE 4 U & mE. I DecIdEd tO hAf iT rEmOvEd. sIghX bUt w/o mUsIc my bLoggY sEemS sO duLL... bUt nVm lA... aS lOnG aS iTs "safe" sO bEaR wiF iT lOr... i'll upload miDi mysElf OnCe i knOw hOw tO... lmaOx.

sIgHx sIbEh siAnz... feeL LikE blOggiNg @ mY OthEr bLog bUt lAzY lolS. FeeL LikE tOkIn tO ZQ (heS OnLinE @ mSn nOw) bUt thInkiN wHaT fOr? & whY shLd I bE thE OnE whO tOk tO hIm 1St? =/

sIghX btW mY OthEr bLog's wEb iSh... http://sg-true-lubs-stories.blogspot.com

*霹雳花喇**霹雳花喇**霹雳花喇**霹雳花喇**霹雳花喇**霹雳花喇**霹雳花喇**霹雳花喇*

okay gUys hElp mE thInK Of A Chinese Name fOr mY niCk, LuBBy... i tOt Of sOmE bUt dUn sOunDs nICe lEhz... sO gImME sOmE idEaS hEh gAmsiA gAmsIa.

taggy board~

2004-10-15T23:52:00.000+08:00

my taggy damn fucked-up. keep error...

quick reply to Qi: *kOkz Qiqi* lols call ur vic lovey dovey den wont sianz liaoz ma... lolx j/k... sianx call me tok cock la... i very free one...

msg for ALL: frEe cAn caLL mE tOk cOck On fOnE... dUn bE sHy... nO niD paisEh 1... i dAmn wU eng aT hOmE 1... dUn hAf mY nUmbEr dEn leAvE a mSg @ my eithEr onE tAggY bOaRd... i'll gib u in ptE ;P

sumimasen!!!

2004-10-11T23:52:00.000+08:00

heh, i'm supposed to blog lub's "sg lub's story" today but... im lazy to type the chunk of story out hahax... so i guess i'll do it when im free or when im in a better mood... lets see how bax...

Quick Replies to Lin & Qi: lols yaya i miss u qi lols... but u nowadays seem so busy sighx... & lin... i was on my way to sch... takin cab somemore for the 1st time... den half way to sch monica called me sayin the last few lessons haf been cancelled... reasons i dunno.. kaox lor... im in middle of nowhere on the road liaoz lor... ask me turn back machiam idiot haha so i decided to go bugis instead... so i tell the uncle... uncle ar drive me to bugis instead ba... lols... so when i reached bugis the fare is $12.50 :( $%^&*($() tmd... waste of my $... sighx... from tmr onwards hor if im late i wont take cab liaoz i rather be late & get naggings from the teachers den wasting my $ again. =/

溅男人!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ="(

2004-10-08T07:37:00.000+08:00

bloggy... im really fucking sad fucking sad(shld i say sad or disappointed?)... early in the morning i got a frigging bad news... "HE" really haf a new gf now. SIGHx. wtf lor. last 2 weeks i already sensed his changes, & already pretend to test words out from his mouth & he said no, but his facial expressions betrayed him. okay fine. since he said no, i trusted him. SO, last week or days ago i went in Friendster(this fucking FS shld be banned!! 4ever making me sad everytime i go in.) & i went to "peep" @ his account, he set to "In a Relationship". I text-msged him on the mobile sayin "kns lor got gf liaoz nv even tell me." his reply was "nope, dun haf." obviously he's lieing.

Every person change becoz theres some reason for sure. & I saw his changes. & he told me NO. wtf. Den today, my sis go test him asking him "gd lor u got gf liaoz dun want meimei liaoz lor"... He reply her, "frds ARE impt BUT GF MORE IMPT." there there bloggy. he FINALLY ADMITS he HAF a NEW GF NOW. WTF?! Why dun he tell me? why cant he tell me? why? my sis say becoz he juz dun wanna lemme know. Afraid i gone crazy? nahx. who the fuck he think he is? I was so dumb that i was killing my own brain cells thinking what present to buy for his bdae next month. Now? i guess i dun haf to kill any precious cells of mine. I not buying him anything now. NOT EVEN A SINGLE CHOCOLATE. cb.

dunno why the fuck in so unlucky in love life. Do u know why im so sad/disappointed bloggy? coz' he's the first guy i like 1st... er... last time are those cbks who say like me i den slowly like them... lmaox!! but hes differ... i fall for him @ the 1st sight. he's only 1. thats why. sighx. whatever la. say so much oso no use. the fact is he DOESN'T LIKE ME(AT ALL!!). & He HAF A NEW GF NOW.

last time he still tell me sadly, i dun wanna get into any relationships anymore. i dun wanna get hurt again. crapS. All fucking LIES. I hate LIARS. & he told me he love his ex so much. wtf. & now he got new gf. see bloggy... guys really cant be trusted. am i rite? sigh. freaking foul mood @ the rite time. lucky i already sensed something real bad is coming & already haf my depressions the last 2 days hahax. but sth here i dun understand is. WHY THE FUCK I ALWAYZ SENSE THESE LOVE-LOVE THINGY SO ACCURATELY? But when its related to myself it doesnt seems so accurate? why? weird. does that mean that im gonna be alone be old-maiden for the rest of my life?

Theres so many human beings ard in this cruel world, but there isnt the rite 1 or someone who love me. sighx. dun ever tell me "nahx lubby/met you'll find someone better & loves u in the future." yaya, whatever la. im sick of hearing this. im really tired & sick of waiting. & i've stop searching for my prince charming after i haf break-up wif my ex. coz theres is no prince charming for me. i knew it. i simply juz knew it. coz this world is unfair. esp to me. so. wtf am i still sad after tokin/typin so much rubbish here? argh. sigh i thinkz u guys all think im siao liaoz tokin 2 myself here. but what to do? if i dun say out things on my mind now, i, for sure will be really crazy in the very next second. so juz lemme vent my angers & unhappiness out. (btw this is MY bloggy, so why am i explaining so much huh? siaoz!!)

okay lastly i wanna say is. i wont trust him anymore. & im not goin to contact him no more. (coz i dunno how 2 face him already.) sighx. i might blog again tonite, see my mood ba. & dun worry i wont cry for him. he dun deserve that kind of special "treatment" yet. lols. bloggy~~~~~ bloggy~~~~~~ bloggy~~~~~ sigh~~~~~~~ 伤心欲绝

PS: got comments juz say ba. scold me oso can. if u wanna slap me juz tell me. i'll let u slap. lols.

我是真的受够了!!

2004-10-07T23:58:00.000+08:00

okay introducing my all time fav songS...

把手放了

我也許會比較快樂

我也許會換個情人

我也許不會在撐

真的夠了

能不能讓雨別再下了

能不能讓心別再疼了

能不能不要開燈

我們的愛跟著你小的劇本

出現了越來越多的角色

我是你什麼人

如果不是情人

是不是不要再浪費我的人生

你比我更清楚

你對我多好多溫柔多認真

不構成愛我的資格

除非你只看著我想著我只有我

愛本來就該獨一無二

為你傷心多一點少一點流下的眼淚都一樣不值得

世界上那麼多人

只有我一個人

能拯救自己的快樂

不要再為你哭了

(任家萱)：不容易要忘了他的一切比什麼都難他的溫柔讓我牽絆他的狂熱讓我浪漫而我給的愛給得滿滿

(陳嘉樺)：別感傷愛情的雨天學會自己撐雨傘一切隨緣順其自然能進退愛情的拿捏不為難

(任家萱)：他讓我感覺存在曾填滿我心情的色彩

(陳嘉樺)：剎那的美麗感受不值得你拿永恆等待

(合唱)：(任)關於愛情是否只要付出真心就不怕沒人愛 (陳)關於愛情只要能夠留住真心就不怕沒人愛陳：喂喂你還好不好任：喂喂心情像感冒

(合唱)：(陳)喂喂不該自尋煩惱還有別人等著你挑 (任)喂喂想他讓我煩惱還有誰會等著我挑任：喂喂感覺有點糟陳：喂喂別把希望丟掉陳：喂喂你要過得好任：喂喂愛沒了依靠

(合唱)：(陳)喂喂別讓生活拋錨不要陷入思念煎熬 (任)喂喂我的生活拋錨慢慢陷入思念煎熬 (不願生活拋錨不想陷入思念煎熬) 陳：喂喂現在我知道

(合唱)：喂喂情路不只一條 (合唱)：換個愛的跑道

放弃你.让你走

2004-10-07T02:53:00.000+08:00

♥♥♥

我一直坐在咖啡厅的角落没有人发现我还在难过

其实早就已经忘了怎么说就算再怎么舍不得

你还是走了我还不想承认这事实怎么会变成这个样子

没有了我真的什么都没有了就象一个废人

回家的路上我哭了眼泪再一次崩溃了无能为力这样走着

再也不敢骄傲奢求了我还能够说些什么我还能够做些什么

我好希望你会听见因为爱你我让你走了

回家的路上我哭了眼泪再一次崩溃了无能为力这样走着

再也不敢骄傲奢求了我还能够说些什么我还能够做些什么

我好希望你会听见因为爱你我让你走了

我让你走了Baby

♥♥♥

You know that I be lovin so much

You know that I bemiss you so much

You know that everydream will Come trme wit cha

you know it's A story of two wit cha

真的你了解我是真的太想爱你

是否一起接触落下来的雨滴

让我不会忘了这场倾盆大雨

可惜真的再也不能安静

从天上掉下来的雨点

把城市拍成一部影片

这一天我们聊得很远

这是上天给我的纪念baby

爱正要开始

你会不会给我机会

yes 我不敢相信

爱的起点

原来是今天因为天也知道

是我太想爱你

所以神也给我这么棒的时机Oh

说我爱你如果你也了解

是我太想爱你

是否你也伸手一起接住雨滴

oh 迎接爱情

♥♥♥

心有千言万语却说不出口

舍不得你走还要握紧你的手直到天长地久

一起分享这首歌

当爱来的时候记得别放手

this love is 4 u

哪怕有多少痛

有我在你左右陪你实现所有梦

Baby

♥♥♥

你的头发垂在耳边

风轻轻吹遮住了眼

温柔的眼神有些疲倦但很美

我的视线在你的脸

你太认真没有发现

闪烁的眼神此刻你在想着谁

不舍看见你为爱憔悴为爱掉眼泪

只能给你安慰默默守在身边

想要疼你每天每天

想要爱你永远永远

在有生之年何时你才会发现

想要抱你每天每天

想要爱你永远永远

你所有心愿

我都会奋不顾身去完成

♥♥♥

如果我可以简单爱

是否就可以不受伤害

一想到你的可爱

真的真的好想想把你宠坏

如果这爱很简单

为何心好乱

每次想要留下来你却都不在

只想在你身边陪你烦

哭泣时候有我在陪伴

不多问不想去猜

你的心中答案只心疼只想在乎

你的善良可爱

Baby

突然发现自己再也离不开

只想感觉到你的存在

一种忘了自己的简单

陪着你看着大海是那么地自然

若可以牵你的手想永远不放开

Baby

希望这一刻能停下来

好想说你是我最甜蜜的负担

你不在以后的日子我该怎么办

希望你知道我的爱

不求什么只想陪伴

原来我是为了你存在

♥♥♥

哭.

2004-10-06T02:23:00.000+08:00

我想死，我真的很想死啊。

今天嫌着没事干所以到friendster去看看。不看还好，一看心情不好。因为看到了或者我因该说是知道了一些很不想知道的事。

我所暗恋的人已有他喜欢的人了。
他以前告诉我说他不会在喜欢上另一个人了，因为他害怕在受一次的伤害。我知道他是骗人的。以他的个性，他的样貌，我才不相信。我的的却却猜对了。猜对了又如何？他所喜欢的人又不是我。

我心真的是碎了。

还有一件事，那是关于我的前任男友。不知为何我最近常常想他。不知道为何。不是因为我还爱他或喜欢他，但我就是常想道我和他的过去。

sighx。真的很烦。学校，金钱，爱情，等等等的事已经把我弄得无法呼吸了。久而久之我一定会疯掉。

闷死了!!!

2004-10-05T01:55:00.000+08:00

lolS... i decide to blog abit in Chinese today...

刚才看了10.30 分的“烈火雄心2”, 看到躲在房间里哭到霹雳花拉... 哈哈哈... 大结剧真的好感人~
很闷很闷啊!!! 我看这次我一定会被学校 de-bar的... 糟糕了啦... 算了算了... 顺奇自然吧~ 懒的去想这么多了~

我看我就blog到这里吧... 再见!!

yOz~

2004-10-04T01:19:00.000+08:00

Hiya bloggy... How's ya? I haven been bloggin for quite another long period of time againz... lols... Sorry abt that... I was so engrossed in The Sims 2 to the extend that i played it for more den 10hrs during the weekends lolS...

Oh... Today i saw sth that nearly cause me to haf a heart attack... I login into my friendster & i went to see ZQ's profile & i saw him put "in a relationship"... i tot he really haf a new gf so i msg him to confirm... He replied me "nope. dun haf.". i den feel relief lols. Not that i dun wish him to haf a new gf la or i'm jealous or what la... Juz that see-ing someone u used to like or haf a crush on, was in relationship wif another person... that kind of feeling really... sucks.

Sigh... im so bored... Later on i gotta go sch... & everytime at this day of the week especially at the time of the day of the week, i'll haf my usual monday blues... blues blues blues... eek!!! sianz sia... how i wish i can faster complete my studies in this bloody sch asap... 2 yrs wasnt as long as it seems to be... but... sighx... I guess my lessons are boring becoz wasnt becoz the subjects are boring, its becoz of the teachers... Some make the lessons so dull that we can fall asleep during class... & we haf way too many breaks... its a kind of waste of time... we go sch for lessons not for breaks... 15mins break after every few lessons is pretty kewl enuff, but wtf?! we haf an hr or 2 for break!! wtf are we goin to do during this bloody long break? sighz... 4get it... since the timetable is set this way, theres nuffing esle we can do... unless we kill that bloody SH & change the timetable ourselves... 4get it... Juz let it be... sighx... sch sucks... nono... teachers sucks. SH sucks even more. guys sucks too. =/

oh btw... becoz im too engrossed to my game(The Sims 2)... i didnt continue to write my story which i supposed to complete by this week... but... i promised... on 11 Oct, i'll blog the whole chunk of grandma story out... maybe i'll blog it bit by bit... we shall see... i'll decide on that day... lolS.

oh... another thingy... I WANNA GO JAY's CONCERT LA!!! WHO WANNA OR WILLING TO GO WIF ME? :'( if really noone to go wif me, i'll go alone... sighx... i rather go alone this time den missing the concert for the third time... sighx... i'll stop here bloggy... lub ya *frEnChieS* heh.

Changes

2004-09-25T01:15:00.000+08:00

Why do ppl change?

Ppl change for better or for worse. Some change becoz they haf decided to over a new leaf... (did i use the rite phrase? well whatever)... Some change becoz of the environment they're in... Some change becoz of the ppl they know/met/love/hate/blahx... There are all sorts of reasons why ppl change. The important point is they changed to a better person or a incurable one?

Well as for me... I did change alot for the past 19 yrs... From a baby... so innocent, kawaii, chubby, adorable, lovable, beautiful, clever... (opps i praised myself too much i guess lols.)... to a young, sweet, soft-spoken, kind, er... i praised myself again hahax... & now? im a mature, loveless, weird, over-sensitive, ill-tempered, fat, ugly, short, complicated young adult... I guess i have changed from perfect to good, good to bad, bad to worse, & now... worse to hopeless... lols...

But why i changed so much? Hmz... It would be damn frigging long story which i can type for months if i really wanna say... haha... But i guess why i changed so much within these years is becoz of 'people'... Especially after i started dating like normal girls did... I changed. Learning lessons from my mistakes. Relationships really make one grow up... Ppl will tend to think now(if they didnt know how last time =/)... So do i... I even think more den others... I alwayz think of the consequences, what others will think/feel, what i shld haf done, what i shldnt haf done... I often put myself in others' shoes... Thinking & caring about others, eventually making myself sad, worried... I'm not trying to say imma good person, who cares about others more den myself. But i just simply cant stop myself from doing so... I JUST think too much -.-"

Hmzz back to the topic... Why do ppl change? Sometimes... you'll feel someone u THOUGHT that you know well, seems to change to another person... probably you didnt know that... actually the person did not change at all, its just that you THOUGHT that you know THAT person well, thats why you got the feeling he haf changed. That person actually is just showing his true self/ true colors... or back to his real-self. Does this make sense to you? Think about it. Or maybe you SHOULD think in this way... So you wont feel so sad... (well im actually telling this to myself. lols.)

Sighx... As long as that person know why he/she haf changed... & know what is wrong what is right... & what's the consesquences... blahblahblahx... Den everything will be alright... Why do we haf to care so much? Coz humans are all K-POs hahaha...

I guess i'll stop here, bloggy. Anyone haf any comments on whatever i wrote here, please feel free to do so. You can post ur comments @ my taggy or chatterbox. Take care bloggy, lub ya. :D

back again

2004-09-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

juz now tok to ZQ on msn... i got a feeling he changed alot... or should i say its his true/usual self? becoz i dunno him well... many things about him i do not know... & he din tell me either... i always got a feeling that he wasnt really a gd guy... dunno what makes me think so but... that kind of feeling is getting stronger & stronger...

he doesnt seems to be the guy that i first know... hmz... ppl do change now & then... or maybe im juz being sensitive... i haf no idea... & dun really wanna know either... coz... my heart tells me that... i'm no longer that liking him already... maybe theres still alittle somewhere in my heart... but that doesnt matter... i'll juz that it as a sweet memory... lol... loving ppl is tiring... i rather be loved... si i choose to gif it up... i've learnt my lessons... & i shall not make the same old mistakes again.

no idea what i wanna say, or what i haf been typing since the past few mins.. lol... anyway i feel much better now... i juz nid to say out my thoughts before i get another headache again... lol... ok... thats all... byebye bloggy. ;p

rehiz bloggy ;p

2004-09-23T19:55:00.000+08:00

woah i haven been blogging for a month already sia... haha... all becoz of my cb com & my cb boardband la... keep giving me farking problems...

actually today wanna blog about my love story wif my ex. lmaox... becox today is a real bad day... why? its becoz today is the 4th month for my ex & his current gf(that cb bitch) that they are together... i wonder they haf broken up already not haha...

are u wondering how i found out today's their "special day"? well... one day i was playin neopets & that arsehole send me a gift... & i'm kpo i login to his neopets account den i check his friend list & i saw his gf's nick... wif the number 0523... so... from there i know its 23rd of the month...

you know sth, bloggy? i wasnt sad becoz i know when is their "special day"... its becoz of our breakup... less den 2 weeks... to be exact it is 12 days right after our breakup, he was in a relationship wif another gal!! can u imagine my feelings at that time? sad.

sighx... thats why i decide to write about my love story wif him... but sadly, i haven complete my draft work in my cute notebook yet... i'll try to complete it asap & i shall blog the whole junk of the draft into here for u to read, bloggy. so, please wait patiently... i guess i'll blog the story on the 11th next month... coz... it the 5th month since my breakup...

well... thats all for today... lub & mish ya bloggy... *muackz* ^-^v

oh... last but not least... i CURSE that arsehole & his gf. (which i did 24/7) ;P

{\/}

2004-08-22T01:21:00.000+08:00

yOz bLOggY, ZQ aSk mE OuT fOr DinNEr tOniTe aT bEdOk InTeRcHaNgE aFtEr hIs wOrk sIA... sO hApPy wOrx lOlz... *buShEz* ;D

♥♥♥

hE tOlD mE wHy hE dUn WaNnA gO blk 85 mAkAn bEcOz hE hAf mEmOriEs wIf hiS eX aT thAt mARkEt... i nOTiCe tHAt wHenEvEr aFtEr hE tOk aBOuT hIs eX mY fAciAL eXPrEsSOn wLL chAngE mmEdaTeLy... lOls... hE tOlD mE a gaL kEeP mSgnGz hIm mAnY mSgS sAyinGx sHe miSs hIm... hOpInG tO bE wIf hIm... sOmEtHinGz LiKE thAt... kaOx lOrx... dEn hE dUnnO sAy sImI abOuT hIs LiFe... (i din LisTen cLeaRLy cOz im wOndErin hOw thAt gaL lOOks likE... hMx...) dEn wE shAre a pLatE Of caRrOt cAKe... & wE heAd tO PriNcEsS cInEmA tHat wOO-Lu FunLand fOr CS... OnLy hE plAy lA... i jUz sit thAt sEe hIm plAy niA... dEn aFtEr thAt wE taKe buS 31... dEn *tadaaaaaah!!* hEre i Am... blOggngx lOrx lmaOx...

♥♥♥

siaNx... i hAtE wEekEnDs wHen TeeVee shOws sUx siA...

nUffnGx tO dO aT hOmE dAmN fUcknGx siAnx... kNn...

WhEn wLL ThE bErLaRdi The Sims 2 OuT in Sg hUh? TmD...

**bTw hOr, mY miDi aBiT ki siaOx siA LoAd sIbEh sLOw LoRx...

sO iF wAnnA LiStEn tO niCe sOng, wAiT awHiLe BaHx... siGhx

Hmz...

2004-08-20T00:38:00.000+08:00

Bloggy... i call him in the afternoon & ask if he haf paid... he said he haf paid hundred+... dunno izzit true... den i ask him when is he goin to pay the remaining amount... he say he now no cash(meaning no $) den somemore he goin NS today... den i ask him which patch... he say A... (*all the while he was like v. pekchek sighz) haha den im curious i go ard askin is patch A gd or bad... most ans me bad... lmaOx... gd lorx... serve him rite... better die inside dun come out... he only cause troubles outside... making ppl sad here sad there... lols... so dun come out better lmaox =X

♥♥♥

sighx... no mood study... coz im missing someone... =(

die liaoz lor like that, bloggy... sighx...

4get it... im prepared to flunk my progress test tmr anyway...

feel like bowling haha...

Ju Li

2004-08-17T21:36:00.000+08:00

♥♥♥

ThE wOrLd's GrEaTeSt DisTaNcE iS WhEn im RiTe In-FrOnT Of yOu & yEt yOu Don'T KnOw ThaT I LOVE YOU.

♥♥♥

shld i gif up? im holding on till i couldnt breathe already.

♥♥♥

*sighx*

2004-08-16T15:22:00.000+08:00

Hey bloggy, so sorry i haven't been blogging for so long... My damn boardband got terminated coz i forgot to pay up the bills lols. mizz me? i mizz u thou ;P

♥ ♥ ♥

Yesterday, I went to Esplanade wif ZQ, Marvin & Adeline. I meet them at Raffless City's Food Junction ard 7.40pm. Ard 8+ we left the Food Junction & head for the fireworks, but when we get out of the mall, we saw lotsa ppl heading to our directions & ZQ go ask a security/police at the roadside about the fireworks, & the man said its already over!! haha... Too bad we got the time wrong & we missed the fireworks. Den we decided to loiter ard & walk to Esplande to see the big durian. When we reached B1 of Esplanade, Adeline & Marvin are seperated, we haf no idea where the 2 went to... lost? maybe... but while we're on the escalators, ZQ tell me about his ex... how they started... Me & ZQ walk to the outside of the durian & sit near the river waiting for the 2 to find us... After 10 mins or so, they finally show up... lols...

After that we think where we heading next... But end up no answer... So we walk ard the area... Ard 9+, we decided to go Loyang... So we walk to the main road trying to hail a cab... We managed to caught a taxi-driver's attention & he stop at the opposite side of the road waitin for us to cross over, but who knows?! a bloody woman juz come out from nowhere & get into the taxi & the taxi juz drive off!! Wtf sia... Sigh den we walk further down the road near the Oriental lor... Finally the 2 guys managed to hail a cab... & there we go~ haha...

Ard 10.20pm, We reached Loyang's ktv lor(we actually decided to go ktv in the end haa...)... I hor... alwayz feel cold easily whenever there air-con lor... Den i tell ZQ im cold ma... Den he like grab my hands trying to warm my hands lor... i was kindda shocked haha... Den me & Adeline go 7-11 buy things, she said we 2 behave machiam like couple... haha... Den 12.45am, last song... Den after that we walk out of the ktv heading to the Pasir Ris beach lor...

By den, its already 1+ & happened to be the Chinese's Hungry Ghost Festival lor... So we 4 juz tok tok tok on our way to the beach lor... But i keep remain quiet lor... Coz i was like er... feeling kindda... down? dunno la... mood swing lor... haha...

After a way long walk... we reached Escape there lor... we went to the toilet den we head on to the beach lor... We walk & walk... We walked into the park lor... Den Adeline & ZQ are walking in-front of me & Marvin... wif Adeline's arm hook to ZQ's... I was feeling... nvm... I juz keep quiet & walk... & we walked the wrong way & reached the dead end of the park... We rested for awhile & walked back to where we came... All these while, Adeline & ZQ act like couple... holding each other's hands lor & like haf many secrets to share lor... so i juz fark care i juz walk & walk & walk... & Marvin was toking to me about Rock Bands... but i wasn't really in a mood to tok to him haha... *Sorry MarviN!!*

The more I walk... the more my temper get worse lor... esp when i saw them like a couple lor... holding hands... Den we walk to Fisherman V. there wasnt any nice place to sit down so we walk back to another side of the park where the lightnings are brighter lor... Den we reached there... Adeline & ZQ walk to one side of the statues or whatever it is & sit down & tok... Leaving me & Marvin lor... Machiam we 2 lightbulbs lor. By den my freaking bad bad temper is "activated" lols... den i juz walk away from them lor i walk down the stairs & walk ard w/o any place in mind juz walk & walk as long as i dun see Adeline & ZQ can liaoz... but Marvin keeps following me... i told him to go join them... he said "i dun wanna disturb them, they seems to need some time for themselves, they haf things to tok to each other. I dun wanna U alone in the park & i dun wanna be alone either". K FINE. i juz take it & i keep walking & walking... & i dulan i juz anyhow find a step of the stairs & sit down. I juz keep quiet wif my face farkin black. I told Marvin i wanna get out of the freaking humid park. So i juz stand up & walk to the "couple" & take back my hp from ZQ & i juz walk off w/o saying anything... Marvin tell them we going elsewhere... So we walk lor... Adeline knows that something wasnt rite here lor... So she comes to me... (all the while i was walking freaking fast infront of the grp lor) asking me... "are you ok jie? what's the matter? why are u so angry? Plz tell me whats wrong... Izzit becoz of... den u angry?"Well... my only reply to her is... "Juz farking leave me alone, juz ignore me, take that im having PMS rite now." Den she say "ur my sis lor, how can i juz leave u alone or ignore u lor... If theres anything u not happy juz say it out lor..." Actually she knows what is wrong wif me... (i did told her sth, but i dun wanna say here. ;) ) She told me something but I juz ignore her... Den ZQ's turn to ask me whats wrong... I guess HE oso guess out whats wrong lor... I juz simply tell him the same thing i told Adeline.

Den we walk further down, ZQ told me... He likes the feeling of touch... its like when someone's cold or whtever he would gif him some "warmth"... hmz... like juz normal frds lor... A hug when needed... WHATEVER. my heart sank already *haa*. =/ Den i told him, "u dun haf to explain anything to me." He said " i haf to lor..." Den i chup in... i said... "I wasnt misunderstanding lor, so u dun haf to explain anything to me." Den i put on my earphones & on my discman loud. He keeps quiet & juz walk behind me... I think i hurt him somehow... & Adeline too... sighx... Sometimes i really hate my character & my bad temper. I juz couldnt control my temper whenever i sees something i dun like. & i'll juz gone crazy if i din release the anger inside me out immediately... Thats what happened to me yest lor. I really gone crazy for hours. Oh lemme continue what happen...

Den we finally walk out of the bloody park... (I swear i wont wanna go there again.) & still i keep ignoring the 3... esp ZQ... honestly... Den we walk to the downtown East to rest abit... the 3 rest at the 6 benches there... & i juz dun wanna be wif them so i walk away... I sense someone was following behind me, & i turned round & saw ZQ... I told him to go join the 2... & he juz keep quiet & follow me ard... we went to the toilet & Cheers... & farking hell... both are closed. Damnit & we walk back to the bench & we 4 rest there lor... till ard 5... we wake ZQ up (coz he fall asleep)... Den we walk to the bus interchange lor... ZQ seems to be angry lor... I guess hes angry wif me... for what i did earlier on... Sighz... :(

We take Mrt from Pasir Ris... & i tot the 2 guys wanna go eat my daddy's porridge... Den when we reached Tampines station, ZQ suddenly stands up & walk to the door w/o sayin anything... no even a "bye". I was feeling sad... down... i msg him.. "Angry?" he replied his having a gastric & he dun get angry easily... But i doubt so...

Sighx... when i reached home i was worry abt him... i called him but he sounds so tired & was like... angry? i dunno... he didnt sound like the normal him lor... sighx... He said he would msg me back after his shower... but until now i haven receive anything from him... Sighx 4get it...

I can only blame myself for not able to control my temper & feelings. I give up.

*sghx*

My Brains keep recall this 3 songs... by David Tao...

♥ ♥ ♥

One last cry
曲：词：编：
My shattered dreams and broken Heart are mending on the shelf. I saw you holding hands standing so close to someone else. Now I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone. Gotta get over you?.. Nothing for me to do?.. But have one last cry. (CHORUS:) One last cry Before I leave it all behind I've gotta put you out of my mind,this time- Stop living a lie. I guess I'm down to one last cry. I was here,you were there. Guess we never could agree. While the sun shines on you, I need some love to rain on me. Still, I sit all alone, Wishing all my feelings were gone. Gotta get over you?. Nothing for me to do?.. But have one last cry. (CHORUS) I know I gotta be strong, But 'round me Life goes on and on and on, and on I'm gonna dry my eyes Right after I have my one last cry.

♥ ♥ ♥

爱，很简单
曲：陶喆词：娃娃编：
忘了是怎么开始也许就是对你一种感觉忽然间发现自己已深深爱上你真的很简单爱的地暗天黑都已无所谓是是非非无法抉择没有后悔为爱日夜去跟随那个疯狂的人是我喔～I LOVE YOU 无法不爱著你 BABY 说你也爱我I LOVE YOU 永远不愿意 BABY 失去你不可能更快乐只要能在一起做什么都可以虽然世界变个不停用最真诚的心让爱变的简单I LOVE YOU 我一直在这里一直在爱你I LOVE YOU(yes I do)永远都不放弃这爱的权利如果你还有一些困惑 Oh No 请贴著我的心倾听听我说著爱你(yes I do)我爱你

♥ ♥ ♥

普通朋友
曲：David Tao 词：David Tao 编：
等待我随时随地在等待做你感情上的依赖我没有任何的疑问 这是爱我猜你早就想要说明白我觉得自己好失败从天堂掉落到深渊多无奈我愿意改变 (what can I do?) 重新再来一遍(just give me change) 我无法只是普通朋友感情已那么深叫我怎么能收手但你说I only want to be your friend做个朋友 我在你心中只是just a friend 不是情人我感激你对我这样的坦白但我给你的爱暂时收不回来 So I 我不能只是 be your friendI just can't be your friend no,no,no,我不能只是做你的朋友不能只是做普通朋友

♥ ♥ ♥

PeRsOnaL|Ty D|sOrDeR Of M|nE

2004-07-28T01:27:00.000+08:00

Disorder Rating

Paranoid: Low
Schizoid: High
Schizotypal: High
Antisocial: High
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Moderate
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: Very High
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

S|gHx X3

2004-07-19T23:41:00.000+08:00

SgHx!!!!!

sUpEr dUpEr fAn LeHz tOdAy... yOu knOw wHy blOggY?? i GueSs u knOw whY la... bEcOz of ThAt CBK La... hE usE sO mUcH mOnEy On My hP thAt TimE & unTil tOdAy FinAl rEmInDeR cOmEs i Den reaLisE iM in bIg tROuBlE... CCB siA... sEe beLow,bLoggY...

standard call charge   (1266.3mins)    $253.26

economy call charge   (1219.5mins)   $121.95

GPRS                            (16242Kytes)        $81.21

+/- misc                                                        $557.95

dEn hOr i caLLeD hIm... kaOz aE... CB siA... hE tOk tO mE LikE FaRkIn bEy sOnGz lOr CCB... aS iF i wAnnA caLL hIm siA... bUt bO bIAnz i wOnt hElp hIm pAy tHis bILL 1 lOr... hE usE mY hP tO sIAnz chArBoRs ccb...

i aSk hIm "hOw mUch diD yOu usE tHAt timE WhEn yOu uSe mY fOnE?".

hIs rEplY is "hOw i kNow aR?". (in a sUpEr bEy sOng wAy)...

dEn i sAid " yOuR bIllS tOdAy cOmE a fInaL reMinDer & i todAy dEn reCeivE... itS $500+..."

hE sAiD " gImmE yOuR aCcT nUmbEr i trAnsFeR mOnEy tO yOuR aCct..."

i SaId... "... mY bAnk aCcT tIo frOzen lA cOz i lOsT mY bAnK bOok... hMz Den hOw nOw??" (all thE whIle hE rEmAinS qUiEt)

dEn... hE sAiD "i pasS yOu thE mOnEy tO yOu bY thE eNd Of thE mOnTh La whEn i gEt my pAy" (i wAs thinkIng hUh? hE gOt wOrk? lOls fArniE. =/)

immEdiAtELy i RePly "OkAy dEn pAss mE thE mOnEy bY thE enD Of thE mOnTh. byE *hAngS uP fOnE*" (i dUn wAnnA LiStEn tO hIm tOk cOck... i tHinK hE dUn waNna tOk eithEr bUt wHy i sAy bYe hUh? hMz... bEcOz im pOlitE? LmaOx!!!)

i GuEss hOr Singtel wiLL bAn mE fROm uSing ThEir sErvIcE OnE dAy hAhA... cOz i AlWaYz OwE thEm sO mUch mOnEy...hAhA... sOmEmOrE thOsE biLLs nOt i uSe 1 lOr... *sUaYx*
bUt LuCky lA... Singtel qUiTe rEasOnaBle & unDeRsTAnDinG lOrx... ThEy aLLoW mE tO drAg thIs bLooDy biLL tiLL enD Of thIs mOnTh... i dUnnO hOr neXt mOnTh i shOuLd cAncEL mY cabLe 1st LeHz Or cAncEl mY thIs pRObLemAtIc hP LinE 1st... *fAnS*

hAhA bLoggY i ThInKz i CaN teLL yOu LoUdLy thAt im FINALLY OvEr hIm LiaOx aFtEr thAt fOnE caLL tOdAy. im tHOrOugHLy diSappOinTeD in Him & i FINALLY reaLisE tHaT im bEen sO sTuPiD lOrX... dEpreSS fOr 2 mOnThs+ LeHz... *tOOtz!!!* hAhA... frOm tOdAy OnwArDs i wOnt tHinK Of hIm LiaOz lOrx... nO pOinT mAkInG mYsElf sUffEr frOm PaInS becOz Of a gUy whO dOeSnT knOw hOw 2 aPPreCiaTe mE, tAkE mY lOvE & cArEs aS grAntEd... mAkIn uSe Of mE... tReAt mE aS a sPaRe tIrE/rEfUgEE shEltEr... whAtEvEr... i wOnt cArE abOuT hIm anYmOre. hE wAs sO crUeL tO mE a WeeK b4 OuR breAk-uP(11th May 2004)... sO wTf mUsT i sTiLL bOtHEr abOuT hIm?

hOw i wsH hE to AIDS dEn dIe sOmeDAy LMAOX... i knOw im bAd... bUt Rem this sEntEncE? zUi dU fU rEn Xin... ;p hAiyA hE thIs tYPe Of pErsOn hOr iS a DisGraCe tO Our cOunTry & sOciEtY lA... aS weLL gO diE nOw... hAvIn hIm aLivE On thIs wOrLd iS jUz a wAsTe of fOOd, waTer, aIr, blahblahblahz la... hahahax... *cUrSe!!!*

i cUrsE yOu i cUrSe yOu!!!   i cUrsE yOu i cUrSe yOu!!!   i cUrsE yOu i cUrSe yOu!!!

*mUaHaHahahahAhAhAHahahhahaHahahhaHaHaHahAhahahhaHhhaHaHahAhAHhahaHahAhhAhaHahaHahh*

OkAy la blOggY i stOp mY nAggInGS hErE La... iF nOt uRe gOnnA gOnE cRaZy LikE mE lOlS... Love ya bloggy... gOd bleSs..

TmD...

2004-07-16T02:21:00.000+08:00

wTf siA... wHy mUst EveRybOdy tOk aBOuT hIm? aNd thEy aLL jOlly wELL kNoWs ThaT im TrYin rEaL fArKin hArd TimE tO gEt Him OUt Of mY MinD!! wHy?! sO whAt hE's nEw Gf iS sMaLL-bUilT? sO? i knOw im FaT... bUt im hAppY wIf thE wAy i Am nOw. wHy iS thIs fArKin wOrLd sO UnFaIr tO mE? why? i rEaLLy wAnnA knOw wHy... im SiCk Of hEaRinG ThIngS aBOuT hIm & hIS nEw Gf... reAlly... im tirEd... real Damn TirEd.

yOu knOw blOggY, sOmEtimEs i rEaLLy feeL LikE endIng mY LiFe hErE. im TirEd Of ThEsE & tHaT... mY LifE nOw wAsNt thE OnE i wAntEd in mY chIldhOOd dreAmS... this wAsnt whAt i wAntEd... i knOw i mAkE thE wrOnG mOvE nOw... itS tOO laTe tO rEgrEt. whAt tO dO? i knOw i sHldnT thInk in the nEgAtivE wAy bUt... i jUz cOuLdnT fOrgiVe mYsElf. bY gIvIn mYsElf pAinS i dEn wiLL rEm thE miStaKeS i hAf dOnE in thE past. thOsE paIns aRe unbEaRaBle... tOO mUch fOr mE.

its aLreAdy bEen 2mths+... i haf tAkEn 80% oF hIm OuT Of mY minD... bUt ppL sEems tO likE tO tOk aBt him tO mE... i dun unDerstand wHy siA... im nOt blAmIng Or sCOlDing thEm, bUt bLoGGy im TirEd Of thEsE... dO u knOw hOw pAinfUl mY hEaRt iS ritE nOw? u wiLL nV unDerStand Or FeeL iT... teArS aRe tRyIn tO rOll OuT Of my eyEs bUt im TryIn nOt tO... coz i knOw cRyin is uSeLeSs. im usEleSs... bEsIdEs cRy i duNnO what i reALLy cAn dO...

my fUtUrE nOw sEemS sO dArk... my heArt is sO pAinfUl... its bLeeding prOfuSeLy aGaInz... wOunDs dOeSnt sEem tO hEaL aT aLL... in fACt gEttin deEpeR & dEepEr... i guEsS agAin imma gOin tO shi miAn agAin... 1 mOrE sleePLeSs nItE fOr mE... i wAnnA knOw tHe reAsOnS tO my Qn... whO cAn teLL mE? :'(

this wOrLd... wAnnA find sOmEOnE whO reALLy lOvEs yOu sEemS tO bE imPOsSibLe... all i wAnt is sOmeOne whO reALLy cArEs whO reALLy lOvEs mE... iS thAt LittLe wiSh Of mInE sO diFFicUlT tO fulfil god? u aRe BiAsEd... & i hAte yOu!!!

wO zHen dE haO Lei haO Lei... wO kuAi yaO cHeng bU xiA qU Le... dAo Di zHe sHi jIe zhEn De yOu zhen aI mA??? wO kAn sHi mEi yOu...

zHEn De haO xiAng qU sI... :'(

oh bTw bLoggY dun wOrrY i wOnT tRy tO sUiciDe fOr hIm aGaIn dUn wOrrY *PrOmiSe* =(

s|ghx

2004-07-11T00:46:00.000+08:00

s|ghx... as usual im feelin moody againz... for almost 2 months liaoz im behavin this way... i did try to make myself happy but seems like doesnt work thou... depression is really scary... sigh next week onwards most of my frds who haf sch will start sch liaoz... and me? lols still in the farkin waitin list lor... wait wait wait... waitin is painful... esp when u know the result... sad...

today watch the last episode of Joe Millionaire, saw the happy ending of David & Linda... makes me feel sad... & envy of coz... i alwayz envy couples wif happy endings... who can be together from the start till the end till death... i told my mum & sis while watchin Joe Millionaire... i said loudly that even w/o man in this world i can still survive... my mum looks at me wif a hmz... "sad" look... i feel like cryin when i saw her wif that look... i dunno... maybe she feel sad too... i dunno... since yesterday i feel like crying already... but im tryin to stop myself from doing so... coz i haven found a gd reason to cry for... so i decided not to cry... maybe for now...

s|ghx i alwayz feel this world is cruel & unfair to me... it alwayz gimme something gd in the beginning & will take it back when im feeling happy & xin fu... sometimes i wonder why do we haf to live in this world when we all know lor our future will be death... i rather im not being born into this world lor... i feel so... depressed... feeling so bad inside... i feel like finding someone to tok to... but i dunno who to look for... and even i did... i dunno what to tok to either...

how i wish my rabbits are wif me... sometimes i see my male terrapin i felt sad... coz it reminds me of... s|ghx... well i know i should get over this & carry on wif a new better life... but somehow another voice inside me told me that she haf given up... sounds scary? lols... im juz a ordinary singapore chinese gal juz like most gals out there... but why i haf to suffer more than the others? i wonder why... is the world is nv fair???... maybe thats juz what life is about... damn i feel like smoking... k lahz i thinkz i stop here i oso lost of words liaoz... sighx...

s|ghx

2004-06-10T20:31:00.000+08:00

_______________________________________ _______________________________________ _____8_____8___8_8888__8888__8___8_____ _____8_____8___8_8___8_8___8_8___8_____ _____8_____8___8_8888__8888___8_8______ _____8_____8___8_8___8_8___8___8_______ _____88888__888__8888__8888____8_______ _______________________________________

2004-06-02T04:33:00.000+08:00

s|ghx... i'm go|ngz crazy soonz... he|p!!! :'(

2004-05-30T06:30:00.000+08:00

.............iloveyou...........................iloveyou
.....iloveyouiloveyou..............iloveyouiloveilov
iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouilovey
iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouilovey
..iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouilov
....iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou
........iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouilove
............iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou
.................iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouilo
......................iloveyouiloveyouilove
..........................iloveyouiloveyo
................................iloveyoui
....................................ilove
.......................................u

ßåßÿ£ûßßÿ™

Baby, I'll NEVER LET YOU GO..

Missing You..

Fate

I Will Always Love You..

=)

Baby, 对不起!

I miss U!

It's the END?

=/

Dumb, fat, deaf, old & ugly bitch!

analysis

whatever

HaPPy 21st BirThDay?

hehe..

siaNz diaOx

granny

wiSheS!!

L.I.F.E.

crybaby or?

stressed

to be sad or happy?

im crazy

Dream

eXtreme MakeOvaaaaa!

SIGH!!

ExciTed!!!!

Happy!

Happy~

The Keys to Your Heart

What type/breed of poochie are YOU? ;P

Comments

Envy

whats wrong?

Puppy Mills

ps, ps..

sigh

wtf?!

wOOt! my ever very 1st puppy! ;D~

annOuncement!

HeH

wEeeEe~

Wht The..

sianz

Kewl

PUI!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!

...

Jay Chou Concert

Food Poison~

mUaHaHaHa..

SiaNx

WHY?!

MiDi sOnG

taggy board~

sumimasen!!!

溅男人!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ="(

我是真的受够了!!

放弃你.让你走

哭.

闷死了!!!

yOz~

Changes

back again

rehiz bloggy ;p

{*\/*}

Hmz...

Ju Li

PeRsOnaL|Ty D|sOrDeR Of M|nE

S|gHx X3

TmD...

s|ghx

s|ghx

{\/}